Not sure where to put this…Mods please move if not allowed…posted with love… Some help for the younger generation…. 50 GOLDEN RULES FOR LIFE. 1. Never shake hands at anyone without standing up. 2. In a negotiation, never make the first offer. 3. If they trust you a secret, keep it. 4. If they lend you a car, return it with a full tank. 5. Do things with passion or don't do it at all. 6. When you shake your hand make it firm and look that person in the eye. 7. Live the experience of traveling alone. 8. Never turn down a pepprmint pill, the reasons are obvious. 9. Take advice if you want to grow old. 10. Come eat with the new person at school/office. 11. When you text someone and you're angry: finish, read it, delete it, and rewrite the message. 12. At the table you don't talk about work, politics, or religion. 13. Write your goals, and work on them. 14. Defend your point of view but be tolerant and respectful to others. 15. Call and visit your relatives. 16. Never regret anything, learn from everything 17. Honor and loyalty must be present in your personality. 18. Don't lend money to someone you know won't pay you back. 19. Believe in something. 20. Tend your bed when you wake up in the mornings. 21. Sing in the shower. 22. Care for a plant or a garden. 23. Keep an eye on the sky every chance you get. 24. Discover your skills and exploit them. 25. Love your job or leave it. 26. Ask for help when you need it. 27. Teach someone a value, preferably a small one. 28. Appreciate and thank the one who extends your hand. 29. Be kind to your neighbors. 30. Make someone's day happier, it will make you happier too. 31. Compete with yourself. 32 Treat yourself at least once a year 33. Take care of your health. 34. Always greet with a smile. 35. Think fast but speak slow. 36. Don't talk with a mouth full. 37. Polish your shoes, cut your nails, and always keep a good look. 38. Don't put your opinion on issues you don't know. 39. Never mistreat anyone. 40. Live your life as if it were the last day of it. 41. Never miss a wonderful opportunty to remain quiet. 42. Recognize someone for their effort. 43. Be humble, even though not all the time. 44. Never forget your roots. 45. Travel when you can. 46. Give up the step. 47 Dance in the rain. 48. Seek your success without giving up. 49. Be fair, stand up for those who need you. 50. Learn to enjoy moments of loneliness.
Well done fella. Be proud of where you are now to where you were a few weeks ago. You've turned things around and it's all down to you taking your life by the scruff of the neck and giving it a good shake.
My elderly neighbour passed away suddenly last week. He didn’t really have any family, no children or even an ex wife, or friends or anyone other than the one best friend/partner/girlfriend. I’m not really sure which she is, but she would visit him every day and has done as long as I’ve lived here (years). Other than her he had no one and I don’t think she really has anyone else either other than an even more elderly brother who she lives with and cares for. I’ve just found out she’s kept coming to his empty house and sitting in his living room, on her own, in the dark until late every day since he died. I’ve tried to get her to come round and sit with us, she didn’t want to. I’ve told her to come and knock on our door any time she feels like whether she needs help with anything or she just wants some company and someone to talk to but I know she never will. She’s also clearly ridden with guilt that she wasn’t there with him at the time or been more proactive around signs he may not be all that well she’s picked up on in hindsight. I’m quite concerned for her welfare and do not know what might be the best course of action, if anything, if anyone has any advice would be greatly appreciated.
If you talk to her see if she would go for a care assessment by council for her brother at least?! Sounds like she wouldn’t mate as too proud by the sounds of it but you can try.
I have no idea what the situation is there, but I don’t think it’s full on at all, from what I gather he’s just a bit old so she picks up most the daily chores. I don’t think her home life is any hardship for her, she’s out and about a hell of a lot of the time I always see her riding her bike around, even some mad places 15 odd miles away.
Doesn’t sound like there’s much you can do then mate Unless it’s trying to engage her in conversation and see she’s ok Maybe try encouraging her to see her GP ?
In some ways it sounds like you're doing all you can by checking in and making sure she's okay. Grief in it's early stages is a bit tricky, there can be a long period of shock so in some cases its suggested for people to wait for that to pass before engaging in counselling. It sounds like she is probably taking some comfort in returning for now despite it naturally been difficult but in the longer term might prevent her from moving through the different stages of grief. If you're worried about worst case scenarios in terms of welfare, being direct in your questioning is usually the most effective.
I'm no expert on this type of thing,far from it,but the fact that you've reached out to her and engaged with her is a start at the very least. Just persevere and she might eventually begin to trust you and appreciate that you are concerned about her?Failing that,is there any sort of Social Services in place in the local area that you could pop your head round the door and ask for some friendly advice? Anyway,a big thumbs up to you for being so concerned and caring for someone who is obviously suffering ,hope you have some success.
I suppose it is still early and she’s probably still in shock. Although his health was noticeably deteriorating over the last 6 months / a year or so, it was still a big surprise as it was a heart attack and he was still actively going about his usual day to day life, tending to his garden etc. and it’s definitely completely broken her. It’s just not nice knowing she’s sitting there for hours on her own next door in complete darkness, she won’t even switch the lights on, with no one really to turn to. And don’t know how long to leave her to it until reporting it to someone, there’s only really the police I can think of. And I reckon that’s likely to upset her more as she’ll see it as “they’ve called the police on me”. But sitting by and doing nothing just feels wrong.
Folk grieve in different ways and at different time lengths. By letting her know you're there if she needs help and that you're thinking about her next door is all you can and will offer her some comfort - it's a thoughtful thing you've done.
But you haven't sat back and done nothing, you've tried and she knows it. It seems sad but not everyone can be helped, equally some people don't actually want or need help when it's offered. You say you see her out and about on her bike so she's not being reclusive, maybe her behaviour is just her way of grieving, and it may take a while. If it were me I think I'd just keep an eye out for her, does she look well and tidy, does she say hello, that sort of thing. Maybe think again if you stop seeing her.
As others have said, I would keep checking in. Just a particular one time “how are you today?” might be all it needs for her to open up. It won’t have gone unnoticed that you have reached out and offered support.
In a similar vein: please log in to view this image A bit of a cliché but it's got me over a few hurdles over the years.
