I went in the butchers this morning, and asked for some tripe. He gave me a DVD box set of Love Island !
I was walking down the street with my wife earlier when she accused me of being ashamed to be seen with her. “That’s total b*llocks” I replied, by text, from across the road.
The missus is a crafter and makes her own cards for all occasions, she's starting her Christmas Cards next week, she says it's never too early apparently.
After almost 5 years of regular hospital visits, tests, w*nking into test-tubes etc, my wife and I are no nearer to having a child. So we have decided that we've had enough of all this and we are going to take drastic measures. I'm just going to have to f*ck her!.