Can we trade no fast food adverts before 9PM for no incontinent knickers or vaginal dryness adverts until I have finished my evening meal.
I went to a lovely restaurant for dinner last night. I had the roast Pelican. The food was great but the bill was enormous........
Last night, someone broke in to our house and took a dozen eggs. They also left a saucepan filled with warm water. Police believe it was poachers.
One day Jesus decided to stroll down to the Pearly Gates. No sooner did he get there when St. Peter exclaimed, “Oh, I’m so glad you’re here, I need to go to the bathroom bad! Watch the Gates for me, will you?” “But what am I supposed to do if someone comes?” Jesus asked. “Have them fill out the intake sheet,” Peter said, pointing to his lectern. “I gotta run — ‘bye!” “But —“ Jesus said, too late; Peter was out of earshot. Jesus was studying the intake sheet when he saw an old man tentatively approaching the Gates. “Welcome to Heaven, sir!” he said. The old man stared. “Heaven — is it true? I’m in Heaven?” he whispered. When Jesus nodded, the old man dropped to his knees and said, “Oh, how wonderful! Maybe now I can finally find my son!” Jesus helped him to his feet and said, “I’ll be happy to let you in, but first I need to get some information from you so we know where to put you. Now, while you were on earth, what did you do for a living?” “I was a carpenter,” the old man replied. Jesus was struck by the coincidence, but made a note on the intake sheet and moved on to the next question. “About your family — you say you have, or had, a son, and you believe he’s here already, is that correct?” “Well, I don’t know for sure,” the old man said. “We went our separate ways a long time ago, and I heard that he died. But he was a very good son, so I know that if he died, he’ll be here.” Moved with pity for the old man, Jesus replied, “If he is here, we’ll certainly help you find him. Can you give us a description of him?” To which the old man replied, “Oh, he’ll be easy for you to recognise: he has nail holes in his hands and feet.” Carpenter, good man, dead son, separated from family, nail holes — Jesus stared at the old man, dropped his pen and paper, held out his hands, and cried, “Papa!!!” And the old man, tears in his own eyes, held out his hands and cried, “Pinocchio!!!”
