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The gardening thread, it's all uphill from here

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by stopmeandslapme, Apr 2, 2023.

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  1. HRH Custard VC

    HRH Custard VC National Car Park Attendant

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    I have a dog, he likes to do the gardening by destroying anything and everything he can bite.
     
    #21
    HRH Custard VC, Apr 3, 2023
  2. Easter Road 1980

    Easter Road 1980 Well-Known Member

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    Is that why you married him?
     
    #22
    Easter Road 1980, Apr 3, 2023
    pompeymeowth, The Anilingus Aficionado and HRH Custard VC like this.
  3. stopmeandslapme

    stopmeandslapme Well-Known Member

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    I'm married to a dog: constantly watched and bossed around, serving her every whim, and the sex is non-existent.
     
    #23
    stopmeandslapme, Apr 3, 2023
    Archers Road likes this.
  4. pompeymeowth

    pompeymeowth Prepare for trouble x Staff Member

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    Jesus, this is an old man thread.

    Do one on pipes and slippers next<laugh>
     
    #24
    pompeymeowth, Apr 4, 2023
    brb and HRH Custard VC like this.
  5. Easter Road 1980

    Easter Road 1980 Well-Known Member

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    **** off you old boot.

    Stick to darning and ironing there's a dear.
     
    #25
    Easter Road 1980, Apr 4, 2023
    The Anilingus Aficionado, DUNCAN DONUTS, HRH Custard VC and 2 others like this.
  6. pompeymeowth

    pompeymeowth Prepare for trouble x Staff Member

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    You got up early? Watering your Geraniums?
     
    #26
    pompeymeowth, Apr 4, 2023

  7. Easter Road 1980

    Easter Road 1980 Well-Known Member

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    I hardly sleep at all. Bleedin' insomniac but I won't lose any sleep over it.

    How are you? Did you **** the bed again?
     
    #27
    Easter Road 1980, Apr 4, 2023
  8. pompeymeowth

    pompeymeowth Prepare for trouble x Staff Member

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    Not today no.

    Funnily enough, I bought some lovely fitted sheets, from Bedeck in Gunwharf quays yesterday.

    Very reasonably priced too.
     
    #28
    pompeymeowth, Apr 4, 2023
  9. Easter Road 1980

    Easter Road 1980 Well-Known Member

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    Good show.

    Fancy a **** dearie?
     
    #29
    Easter Road 1980, Apr 4, 2023
  10. pompeymeowth

    pompeymeowth Prepare for trouble x Staff Member

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    Well, I haven't changed the old ones yet.
     
    #30
    pompeymeowth, Apr 4, 2023
  11. Mick O'Toon

    Mick O'Toon Well-Known Member

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    I have a very clever dog,yesterday he made a bolt for the door.
     
    #31
    Mick O'Toon, Apr 4, 2023
    brb and pompeymeowth like this.
  12. Easter Road 1980

    Easter Road 1980 Well-Known Member

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    Why? Was the old one broken?
     
    #32
    Easter Road 1980, Apr 4, 2023
    The Anilingus Aficionado likes this.
  13. FosseFilberto

    FosseFilberto Pizzeria Superiore and some ... Forum Moderator

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    Had a fish that did that ... was a Chubb ...
     
    #33
    FosseFilberto, Apr 7, 2023
  14. pompeymeowth

    pompeymeowth Prepare for trouble x Staff Member

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    It takes 59 mink to make one fur coat.

    They aren't very good at sewing.
     
    #34
    pompeymeowth, Apr 9, 2023
    DMD likes this.
  15. Easter Road 1980

    Easter Road 1980 Well-Known Member

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    Maybe better if they gave all 59 a typewriter.
     
    #35
    Easter Road 1980, Apr 9, 2023
  16. stopmeandslapme

    stopmeandslapme Well-Known Member

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    Anyone on here own a weed burner? Thinking of getting one to do the patio but am interested in hearing your experience of using one.
     
    #36
    stopmeandslapme, Jul 8, 2024
  17. Toley Fart

    Toley Fart not606's best fighter

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    You not got a bin for garden waste?
     
    #37
    Toley Fart, Jul 8, 2024
  18. Toby

    Toby GC's Life Coach

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    Bong? Or boring weeds?
     
    #38
    Toby, Jul 8, 2024
  19. stopmeandslapme

    stopmeandslapme Well-Known Member

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    Boring weeds. Thought I'd try it instead of squirting chemicals willy-nilly.
     
    #39
    stopmeandslapme, Jul 8, 2024
  20. Toby

    Toby GC's Life Coach

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    Not a good idea to use one when things are dry. Quite fun though. It'll completely wipe out any lifeforms in its path, you'll have to live with the guilt. Just stop being a lazy **** and pull them up.
     
    #40
    Toby, Jul 8, 2024
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