I literally said poverty plays a massive part in it but some parents are just ****ing idiots and make bad life choices. It’s not an either-or. Your last sentence is just typical patronising ****e.
The system could easily be fixed though. I run 'Therapeutic Parenting' courses, and every parent should learn these methods when their children are born. It would help a lot.
By the time children hit secondary school the damage is much harder to undo. The earlier that children can be supported, the better.
If these easy changes to the system could prevent a single parent leaving her daughter with grandparents and upending her child’s home life so she could run off with a boy toy she met online, I’m all ears. Some parents are just irresponsible arseholes and it’s fine to admit that. There’s no deeper explanation sometimes and no need to excuse them and say ‘oh poor you, you’ve had it rough, it’s not your fault, it’s the system’s fault’. Once you have a child, you need to put their well-being first.
No-one actually teaches people to be parents except their own parents. That's it. Then we wonder why??? It's actually ridiculous.
That we agree but goes to my previous point that education staff aren’t surrogate parents and we shouldn’t be expected to be. No wonder the profession is losing people in droves. The only benefit is the long holidays.
I don't envy you at all. I see the work of primary school teachers and that's challenging enough! Fair play to you.
It can be a vicious cycle, yes, but I would say that anyone who abandons their child in their final year of school and leaves them with grandparents to **** off and move miles away to a different town to be with some random bloke she met online deserves to be harshly judged. If my mum did that to me when I was 15, I’d never speak to her again and I certainly wouldn’t want to put my future child through the same. Like I said, some parents are just selfish, bad people and lack basic common sense and decency and I don’t think a lot can be done to mitigate for that.
If you did look deeper you'd probably find that their own parents has treated them similarly. This **** is cyclical. It usually boils down to Attachment Trauma. A trauma that can be healed.
Possibly but I don’t think that’s the system’s fault. The system has faults; I don’t think this is one of them. There’s not a lot the system can do to mitigate bad people doing bad things. It’s like the whole debate about prison abolition and crime. Sure, a lot of crime is due to socioeconomic problems and solving the socioeconomic issues could solve a lot of the crime like theft, gang culture etc. But how do you account for the deviants in society who do terrible things not because of poverty or discrimination by society but because they’re just bad people? Some parents are bad parents not because of the system but because they’re just bad people.
It is absolutely the system's fault. I'm an adoptive parent and work with other adoptive parents, and one of the most common issues is that no-one taught us about Attachment theory when we took them on. Imagine being given somebody else's child and not even being readied to expect Attachment issues! This is a societal problem, even social workers don't generally know their stuff on Attachment. It's an entirely shameful image of us as a society. The knowledge is out there and we choose to ignore it.
You weren’t ‘given’ a child though. You chose to adopt a child. Why is it society’s fault that some adoptive parents aren’t prepared to deal with attachment issues? This attitude of ‘it’s society’s fault’ isn’t productive and is giving people more and more excuses to skirt responsibility instead of being introspective. Sorry I just find it baffling you and other adoptive parents you know made a massive commitment to adopting another human being without being fully prepared for it and somehow that’s society’s fault. That’s absolutely insane to me.
It's just as baffling that most teachers of children knows **** all about it either, but here we are. We were naive and believed that love was enough. Had we explored our own attachment issues then we would have been much better placed. Did you do that before becoming a teacher? It's almost as if there's something missing in our education system...
Heard stories of kids turning up at school not potty trained, then it takes two to change the nappy because they don't want to be in a position where they could be accused of abusing the child.
What’s your reason for posting this? Do you think it’s amusing? Or are you suggesting that it’s down to poor parenting? Are you questioning the validity of Arfid?
You should be able to have a reasonable job and be able to run a household and have kids without having to make choices that include reducing food or heating. Working credit qualification levels amongst full time workers means that taxpayers are funding companies to pay reduced wages, so they can generate more profit instead of them paying people enough, and charging enough for their products too, in the first place.
