Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/JvmGnBegHkskzWZb/?mibextid=UalRPS

 

An envelope dropped through the letterbox this morning with "PHOTOS - DO NOT BEND" on it ...

... I thought 'that's great but how the f*ck do I pick them up'

 

All about the King for me today.

 

Have you posted on the wrong thread by any chance

 

Hahaha aye mate.

 

This bloke in the pub said to me,
"F*ck me, that was a rough old bitch you were with last night, not a patch on the women I normally see you with, what on Earth ever possessed to take her out? "
"I had to, " I replied, "it was our wedding anniversary.

 

I like w*nking whilst looking at myself in the mirror.
My driving instructor doesn't.

 

Apologies in advance.

A young dolphin turned to his mum and said “Mum, how did you and dad meet?”
“Son” she said “We were following a fishing boat scavenging dead fish and your dad and I collided as we went for the same dead tuna fish. He backed off and let me have the tuna, it was very gallant of him”
“What happened next Mum”
“We just clicked son”.

 

I swear that I’ve found G-spots faster than I’ve managed to get one of these little b******s unwrapped.

 

I've never put it like that, but every time my kids get one I always comment on how they never used to be so ****ing hard to open.

Be easier to open a ****ing bank vault!

 

You think she's a pole, are you positive?