I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking. My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Nothing." The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?" At that moment, I would have needed to clarify that men ponder deeply on diverse subjects, sparking further inquiries. Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know? Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion: A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child." But you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts." I rest my case. Time for another beer. Then maybe a nap.
Ex Camelot boss named as new chairman of the Post Office. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-68928326 Looks like a gamble to me.
Wanted a cup of tea as a treat after shopping and gave up. They should have 2 queues…one for normal people who want perhaps a drink and a biscuit and another for pretentious prats who can’t just take what’s on the menu. You really don’t need coffee made from half wild out milk and half from squirrels milk ( but only red squirrels reared on organic acorns) and sugar is sugar…doesn’t need to come from the Galápagos Islands regurgitated by giant tortoises. And if you want a big breakfast don’t ask for half the items to be swapped over and then question their origins.
By the way, If you haven’t heard any bad Star Wars jokes today on May the Fourth, you are looking in Alderaan places....
Luke Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi walk into a Chinese restaurant. Ten minutes into the meal, Luke still can’t figure out the chopsticks, dropping food everywhere. Obi-Wan finally snaps: “Use the forks, Luke.”
What a lot of people don't know is that it is actually a two day celebration and finishes on the sith of May.
