When Ralph first noticed that his penis was growing larger and staying erect longer, he was delighted, as was his wife, but after several weeks his penis had grown to nearly twenty inches. Ralph became quite concerned 'cos he was having problems dressing, and even walking, so he and his wife went to see a prominent urologist. After an initial examination, the doctor explained to the couple that, though rare, Ralph's condition could be fixed with corrective surgery. "How long will Ralph be on crutches ?" the wife asked anxiously. "Crutches . . . . why would he need crutches ?" asked the surprised doctor. "Well," said the wife "You are going to lengthen his legs, aren't you ?
There once was an Indian who had only one testicle, and whose name was therefore 'Onestone' He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone. After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said 'If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them.' Word got around and nobody called him that any more, until one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said 'Good morning, Onestone.' He jumped up, grabbed her, and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, too, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion. Word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do. Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away for ages. Yellow Bird , who was BlueBird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.' Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, and made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day and all the next night, but YellowBird wouldn't die. Why Oh, come on . . . . have a guess ! Think about it ! You're going to love this ! Everyone knows . . . . you can't kill two Birds with OneStone !
"You're probably not interested..." began the wife, "...But I think we should have a baby together. A child of our own would strengthen our relationship. It would show the world how in love we are and I just know we'd make amazing parents." "You're right, love." I replied, "I'm not interested."
