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Rooney- not the full shilling

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by holystone, Nov 25, 2011.

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  1. holystone

    holystone Active Member

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    Alex Ferguson is sat at home polishing his trophies when the phone rings.
    "Hello boss, it's Wayne here." says the caller."Hello Wayne what's wrong?" says SAF. "Well, Colleen has bought me this jigsaw and I just can't get any pieces to go together." "What is it meant to be?" inquires SAF. "Well, it's meant to be a large chicken according to the box, boss, but it's doing me head in." Always being one to try and keep his team happy, Alex says "Well bring it round and I'll see if I can help you."
    So 20 minutes later Rooney and Fergie are stood over the kitchen table, whilst Rooney bemoans the fact the pieces don't go together, so he is unable to make the picture of the chicken on the box.
    "Wayne" says Alex, "Put the f**king Cornflakes back in the box lad".<laugh>
     
    #1
    holystone, Nov 25, 2011
  2. Jock McMagpie

    Jock McMagpie Active Member

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    <laugh>
     
    #2
    Jock McMagpie, Nov 25, 2011
  3. Alfie

    Alfie Active Member

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    Recycled Beckham joke.

    At least you're doing your bit for the enviroment <ok>
     
    #3
    Alfie, Nov 25, 2011
  4. Shola's Scissor Kick

    Shola's Scissor Kick Member

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    May not be the full shilling but he is a tremendous actor.

    [video=youtube;Q6MkmonoaSw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Q6MkmonoaSw[/video]
     
    #4
    Shola's Scissor Kick, Nov 25, 2011
  5. jimileysbaldhead

    jimileysbaldhead Well-Known Member

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    Rooney was shopping in Tesco and he was looking vacantly at some flasks on a display.

    An assistant was walking by and Rooney says to her " What are they?"

    She replies " They're thermos flasks "

    He says " What do they do?"

    Assistant " Well, they keep hot things hot and cold things cold "

    " F*ck me " he says " I'll have one of those and take it to training to show the lads "

    Rooney goes home, picks his kit up and heads off to training.

    After about an hours kick around he taps Ferguson on the shoulder and says " Boss, I've got something to show you, it's unbelievable "

    He takes Ferguson over to the touchline and points at the flask...." Look what I've bought "

    Ferguson says " What's that?"

    Rooney " It's a flask "

    Ferguson " What does it do "

    Rooney " It's f*cking great boss, it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold "

    Ferguson " What have you got in it?"

    Rooney " Two cups of coffee and a choc ice "
     
    #5
    jimileysbaldhead, Nov 25, 2011
  6. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

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    Very good Jim, don't give up the day job though.
     
    #6
    Agent Bruce, Nov 25, 2011
  7. aginairrr

    aginairrr Active Member

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    Wayne Rooney has expressed his desire to join Juventus.

    He will never turn down an approach from an Old Lady.
     
    #7
    aginairrr, Nov 25, 2011
  8. Tino's Machine Gun

    Tino's Machine Gun Active Member

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    ^ Haha. I never tire of that video either.
     
    #8
    Tino's Machine Gun, Nov 25, 2011
  9. 5 Goals 1 Hat Trick 11 Heroes-NUFC4LIFE

    5 Goals 1 Hat Trick 11 Heroes-NUFC4LIFE Well-Known Member

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    Rooney declared fit to face us tomorrow :(
     
    #9
    5 Goals 1 Hat Trick 11 Heroes-NUFC4LIFE, Nov 25, 2011
  10. Tino's Machine Gun

    Tino's Machine Gun Active Member

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    That's one goal for them then, so it's two or more lads. Do me proud.
     
    #10
    Tino's Machine Gun, Nov 25, 2011

  11. Hugh Briss

    Hugh Briss Well-Known Member

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    This.
     
    #11
    Hugh Briss, Nov 25, 2011
  12. P.T.N

    P.T.N Active Member

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    [video=youtube;bcYppAs6ZdI]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcYppAs6ZdI&feature=related[/video]
     
    #12
    P.T.N, Nov 25, 2011
  13. holystone

    holystone Active Member

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    Well spotted.
     
    #13
    holystone, Nov 25, 2011
  14. Beatski

    Beatski Well-Known Member

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    <applause>

    didnt expect that <whistle>
     
    #14
    Beatski, Nov 25, 2011
  15. Ameobi's Apprentice

    Ameobi's Apprentice Active Member

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    <laugh>
     
    #15
    Ameobi's Apprentice, Nov 25, 2011
  16. Mod Face

    Mod Face Well-Known Member

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    That is a TERRIBLE advert! Rooney's wooden 'acting' aside the script is horrific. "Guys we have a problem..." a new wine is coming.

    So to describe your product as a 'problem' and have three famous faces seem worried about it, hardly fills you with confidence. Fair enough they want to use the Man Utd brand but surely they could have just gone for a generic 'new star player coming to town' or something, with them happy about it rather than trying to be dark and moody and completely misselling the product. What is the wine like? Is it any good? What market are the aiming it at? People who ****ing hate wine by the looks of it!
     
    #16
    Mod Face, Nov 25, 2011
  17. Shola's Scissor Kick

    Shola's Scissor Kick Member

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    They say it is a legend.
     
    #17
    Shola's Scissor Kick, Nov 25, 2011
  18. overseasTOON

    overseasTOON Active Member

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    Quite impressed with the concern on the face of Giggs. I wonder what he used as motivation?
     
    #18
    overseasTOON, Nov 25, 2011
  19. Mod Face

    Mod Face Well-Known Member

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    Then why is it a problem?! Crappy script's wound me up more than a 2009 Mackem! If they changed that one line it'd make sense, just 'good news lads' or 'this one's going to win us the league' or some ****e like that.

    GAH!
     
    #19
    Mod Face, Nov 25, 2011
  20. holystone

    holystone Active Member

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    The thought of Imogen telling his misses she'd been jumping on his nads.........LOL
     
    #20
    holystone, Nov 26, 2011
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