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Jokes

Discussion in 'Leeds United' started by ellandback, Jun 25, 2019.

  1. Aski

    Aski Well-Known Member

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    That should come with a warning that it may affect viewers who suffer with epilepsy
     
    #8601
  2. Aski

    Aski Well-Known Member

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    Ever since I was a child, I’ve always had a fear of someone under my bed at night. So I went to a psychiatrist and told him I’ve got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there’s somebody under it. I’m scared. I think I’m going crazy.

    "Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the psychiatrist. "Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears."

    "How much do you charge?" "£80 per visit," replied the doctor. "I’ll sleep on it and if needed I will come back to you," I said.

    Six months later the psychiatrist met me on the street. "Why didn’t you come to see me about those fears you were having?" he asked. "Well, £80 a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for £10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new SUV."

    "Is that so!" With a bit of an attitude he said, "and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?" "He told me to cut the legs off the bed – ain’t nobody under there now!
     
    #8602
  3. Aski

    Aski Well-Known Member

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  4. Whitejock

    Whitejock Well-Known Member

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    What's rugby? :huh:


    I actually have no interest whatsoever in rugby, just in case I've not been clear! :D
     
    #8604
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  5. Wakey

    Wakey Well-Known Member

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  6. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #8606

  7. Wakey

    Wakey Well-Known Member

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  8. Infidel

    Infidel Well-Known Member

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    #8608
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  9. Wakey

    Wakey Well-Known Member

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  10. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #8610
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  11. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #8611
    Wooperts_duck, stonkin and Diego like this.
  12. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    IMPORTANT MESSAGE:
    CAN ADMINS OF THIS GROUP DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN HERE PLEASE?! WE HAVE A NEW MEMBER, AN ELDERLY WOMAN. SHE'S BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING MEMBERS, SENDING THEM NAKED PICTURES OF HERSELF IN NASTY POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE UPS OF HER UNMENTIONABLES. SHE IS OFFERING AN IPHONE 8+ IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVORS. I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN IPHONE 6 AND OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH IT. IT'S SUPER SLOW AND THE CAPS LOCK IS STUCK ON.THANK YOU!
     
    #8612
    Wooperts_duck and Diego like this.
  13. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #8613
  14. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #8614
    Wooperts_duck, OLOF, Gessa and 2 others like this.
  15. OLOF

    OLOF Well-Known Member

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  16. OLOF

    OLOF Well-Known Member

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  17. Marcos Barber

    Marcos Barber Well-Known Member

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    #8617
    Makemstine Roger and OLOF like this.
  18. Aski

    Aski Well-Known Member

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    Sorry OLOF, but I believe that photo has been photoshopped and is therefore a fake.

    Having done an extensive Google search and examined in great detail many thousands of photos, I have yet to find an image of a bra or bikini top with images of Mick Jaggers lips on it
     
    #8618
  19. OLOF

    OLOF Well-Known Member

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    Couldn't have done it without you mate:emoticon-0105-wink::emoticon-0148-yes:
     
    #8619
  20. OLOF

    OLOF Well-Known Member

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