Given they are rolling out the red carpet and pissing off their orcs in the process it seems Saudi money IS welcome at Sunderland. Whatever banner they hoist aloft now about 'blood money' will indirectly hammer their own club. It's joyous to watch. Anyhow... another day beckons so what will their kind and thoughtful owner do next to welcome us into the pit of hades? Their PR disaster is so monumental it deserves a thread.....
I'm thinking they will lay on transport for us from NCL to the SOS. fittingly for their pauper club, it will be a bike. Sandra from Pennywell is relishing the chance to be ridden by someone who hasn't just pulled out of their sister.
Bruno will be greeted by a Samba band to herald the arrival of a player worth more than their whole club.
Free face masks will be placed on all seats for NUFC fans to help keep away the stench of the poverty in the area.
All food outlets will be converted to Halal and the match will pause so that the call to prayer can be observed.
Each seat will have a gold embossed bog roll in solid gold holder next to it in case any Toon fans need a dump as is the now custom at the SOS. The Mackems sadly will need to make do with their sisters knickers.
Free Greggs pasties at half time for NUFC fans washed down with a free bottle of watered down mackem tears.
All mackem traffic to be banned from the city for an hour before kick off so that our fans can seamlessly make their way to the ground unimpeded.
For next season they will take our current season’s strip and pay us £5M for them to use it as their first strip next season.
No doubt they'll realise they've made their fans furious, and build a cage to contain them all and poke at them with spears if they get rowdy....while we sit in luxury massage chairs being served canapés and champagne in our seats by their butlers.
Realistically, they will probably do something totally ****ty for those actually going to that bar, like replace all the beer with piss.
The exaggerated courtesy failed spectacularly, so the only way to please the fans now will be with exaggerated hostility.
I just hope it doesn't get out of hand. There's having rivalry banter, but then thete's always some who want a lot more than that.