Best wishes to all on here. Hope this time of year brings you all you desire. Especially as I put Wycombe in my bet again this time. It's got to happen at least once surely.........
Merry Christmas everyone I’m looking forward to the Origami Club’s New Year’s Eve party. Apparently they do a wonderful rendition of Fold Lang Syne
I was the first in the queue this morning at the DFS Boxing Day sale and as soon as I got in, I put my thousand pound on the counter.. "I want the black leather 3 piece suite in the store window, please", I said. "But that one is £5,000, Sir", replied to the assistant. "Well, not according to your sign it isn't" "It clearly says, DFS GRAND SALE!!"
A woman gives birth to a baby, and afterwards, the doctor comes in and he says, "I have to tell you something about your baby." The woman sits up in bed and says, "What's wrong with my baby doctor? What's wrong?" The doctor says, "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly, but your baby is a little bit different. Your baby is a hermaphrodite." The woman is confused. A hermaphrodite..... what's that?" The doctor replies, "Well, it means your baby has the features....of a male and a female." The woman turns pale. She says, "Oh MY GOD! you mean it has a penis....and a brain.?!
Fake nails, fake lashes , hair extensions, collagen lips and fake b please log in to view this image please log in to view this image bs and they are looking for a real man.......
The fact that Billy Oceans's "Love Really Hurts Without You" has never been used in an ad campaign for KY Jelly ought to shame the advertising industry.
So this woman walks into a butcher's shop just before closing time on Christmas Eve and asks, "Do you have any Turkeys?" The butcher opens his fridge, takes out his only Turkey and puts it on the weighing scales. It weighs 1.5 kg. The woman looks at the Turkey and at the scales and asks, "Do you have one that's a bit bigger than this one, please?" The butcher puts the Turkey back into the fridge and then takes it out again, but this time when he puts it on the scales he craftily keeps his thumb on the scale pan. The scales now show 2 kg. "That's wonderful," says the woman. "I'll take both of them, please!"
Just bought her indoors an ice pick, cos when I asked her what she wanted for her birthday she said "A climb axe would make a nice change"
This old lady handed her bank card to the Cashier and said “I would like to withdraw £10 The Cashier told her “for withdrawals less than £100, please use the ATM. The old lady wanted to know why... The Cashier returned her bank card and irritably told her “these are the rules, please leave if there is no further matter. There is a line of customers behind you”. The old lady remained silent for a few seconds and handed her card back to the teller and said “please help me withdraw all the money I have.” The Cashier was astonished when she checked the account balance. She nodded her head, leaned down and respectfully told her “you have £300,000 in your account but the bank doesn’t have that much cash currently. Could you make an appointment and come back again tomorrow? The old lady then asked how much she could withdraw immediately. The Cashier told her any amount up to £3000. “Well please let me have £3000 now.” The Cashier kindly handed £3000 very friendly and with a smile to her. The old lady put £10 in her purse and asked the Cashier to deposit £2990 back into her account. The moral of this story is.... Don’t be difficult with old people, they spent a lifetime learning the skill.
