Off Topic The Burly Arms

Landed in Manchester about half 6, this morning. Had to go through my routine bag inspection with border force. This time I lost it, booted my suitcase at them and called one a fat smelly pervert and the other one a grey bong eyed pervert. They were going through my lasses suitcase and lifting her underwear out at the time. This time I could tell they were genuinely expecting to find something. Emptied it and went through every single sock and bit of gear I had, felt all around the stitching. Threw the empty suitcase back through the scanner. Still weren’t happy and then decided they’d swab it. Full on again. It’s every time so a letter of complaint going in now. I even get pulled out every time I land in Jamaica and have to go see their immigration. I ain’t a drug smuggler, but clearly there’s something on my passport which is flashing up wherever I go. It happens every ****ing time.

 

I wonder if any cannabis you used while on holiday was detected by their scanners on any dirty laundry or the suitcase itself. I only say that because of some programme I saw on it.

 

They done two swab tests on the outside and inside. All came back clean. It definitely wasn’t that mate. It’s been the last three times I’ve been this has happened both in Jamaica and then our border force when I come back here. They’ve got no reason to suspect I’m taking drugs there or bringing them back. I’m not a dealer over there or over here. Today they had the 2 guys searching the case and another one circling. 2 officers on each exit of the search room. They were expecting to find something, I could tell with the way it was all being done.

At one point the little fat smelly pervert was getting close to the point in my suitcase where a vibrator and a blind fold were. I knew this and started burst out laughing when I looked at my lass and she just went red. The little fat bastard asked what was funny, so I took the chance to get another dig in and just looked at him with a stone cold face and said private joke, mind your own business. About a minute later he held the vibrator and blindfold aloft like a trophy as he moved them out the suitcase to the table so everyone could see. Dick head

 

I quite often get stopped, I got so pissed off one time I said they can send me back if they want lol. It's always British customs as well.

 

I wonder if they think saf stands for smuggles a ****load

 

Morning

 

Morning

 

Currently sat in Copenhagen Airport.

Did not have my bags searched, but did forget electronics, they presumed I was Norwegian and just joked around with me about it waved me through.

Went into the dreaded "all passports line"

They asked me "where ye flying"

I replied Dubai, they asked for my residency because "you don't have any visas" I could sense they wanted a problem or something.

Flashed my norsk one and they said "ahh all good." And we had a nice chat as the fiance did her pass.

Bit different to saf's experience

 

Morning.

 

Can't remember the last time I went around town on a mad Friday.

 

Last day today before I can get some well earned chill in. It's been a ****ing long ass stint, up at 5:30am and home at 10:30pm most days, but I've made decent coin so it's all been worth it.

Gonna do Christmas Canapes, with select wines today for the traders. Dress up smart, might don my suit. Make it all fancy like

Plan on getting very drunk later too

 

At supermarket. Full of ****s panic buying.

earphones in and chilled out, away from manic kids so happy

 

suits you sir

 

Morning

 

morning dude

 

Off to shop for some last minute items…..cleaning products dog treats and replacing the chocolate I’ve been dipping into from my kid’s Christmas stocking

chocolate under the watch of a stoner isn’t the best security plan by my misses

 

Same ere, few boxes of chocolates to buy but I've done everything else so a nice easy one with some breakfast on the journey.. just rolling one for the road.

 

The price I can get it out there from the locals… Not going to lie, if I could get it back, I would. I’d make an absolute killing