Rangers v Celtic

I’ll be counting opposition touches in the box for all the SPFL teams

 

From the head of THE biggest ***** football club in the world to the head of THE biggest ***** organisation in the world!

 

I'll sort you out with a cask of Bladnoch, who have recently employed Macallan's head of marketing, for £2k. Then just sit back and enjoy the boring ride(which is what you probably say to Senga LOL)

 

Similar,no trip to Scotland this year?

 

No, my mum is coming out on the 1st January though

 

#brave

 

Will she be bringing you a new pair of gutties?

 

why?

 

Christmas is banned in this country now.

Instead we shall stone women to death and drag ****tahs, lezzers and trannies through the streets by horse and cart until almost dead, then shoot them through the head and bumfuck them subsequently.

Well, it's the religion of peace after all

 

No, why?

 

sounds better than watching a ****e film on TV to be fair

 

Plimsolls

 

Did she not bring you a pair on her last visit?

 

Runners

 

For coming out

 

*runnies

 

^^^

Alarm set for his tablets

 

Worse things happen at sea! Hahahaha you see what I did there because of where the name "plimsolls" comes from? OMG LOL

 

Sannies

 

Hopefully no soup this time

#mon mum soup lambasted in campbeltown gazette