Last night my wife found me in the pub, threw a pint over my head, and called me a 'f*cking tw*t. Every year she has to go and ruin our wedding anniversary.
You'll have to think about this one What do you call a man who keeps bumping into things ... ... Clyde.
My wife always seems to know when I've just had a sly w*nk. Sometimes I swear she can hear my balls refilling