Off Topic And Now for Something Completely Different

The pope is the elected head of the fairy story department, Doddy was born the head of the funny story department

 

There's been many popes, they'll only ever be one Ken Dodd.

 

Exactly

 

oh oh

 

Good.

 

Love the careful way they remove him!

 

Only 12 when he did this. Queen were so impressed they put it on their website.

A few years later a 9 year old asks to accompany him. Amazing talents some young people have,

 

Excellent

 

Wonderful.
And best song ever. FACT.

 

Have 2 small leather sofas too good to tip, so tried to donate to charity shop. Showed photos and happy to take
Fire label stitched in confirms: date of manufacture (2008), fire resistant, match resistant, cigarette resistant.
Drivers wouldn't take them because there wasn't an expiry date on the label.
WTF?
Googled and can't see anything about expiry date of fire labels! Surely it either has a fire label or it doesn't and that is it?
So now faced with tipping. What a waste. H&S gone mad?

 

What it must be like to have talent like that, music in you.

 

A Bloke calls a health company and orders their 5 day – 5 kgs weight loss programme.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and standing before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe from J.C. dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck..
The sign reads, 'If you catch me, you can have me.'
Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few kilometres later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.
The same girl shows up the next four days and the same thing happens.
On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 5 kgs as promised.

He calls the company and orders their 5 day – 10 kgs programme.
The next day there's a knock at the door and standing before him is the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life.
She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, 'If you catch me, you can have me'.
Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and despite his best efforts, no such luck.
So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.
Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 10 kgs, as promised.

He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order their 7 day – 25 kgs programme.
'Are you sure?' asks the representative on the phone.. 'This is our most rigorous programme.'
'Absolutely,' he replies, 'I haven't felt this good in years.'

The next day there's a knock at the door and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, 'If I catch you, you're mine.'

He lost 31 kgs that week. .. ..

 

wow that is amazing! Would love that. Epic!

 

That's put a spanner in the works!

 

there's no way he doesnt' rent that out
new south wales only really has the sydney track

bathhurst is miles away

and in other news, freddie flintoff still looks battered 9 months after his horrific crash with top gear, he must have been in one heck of a mess at the time

wow