Annoying Commentator Cliches/Phrases

Most referee criticisms are just annoying. I can't remember which game it was, but one of last weeks Champions League games had an incident where there was a tackle near the goal line and a corner was given after ricocheting off both players. Both commentators had a right go at the 5th/6th official behind the goal saying he had a great view, as they watched a super slow motion replay that was still difficult to spot who it had come off...

 

When someone heads or kicks the ball and it goes slightly skewiff... "He couldn't quite get behind that one"

Erm, he was behind it, didn't use his arse did he?

 

This. I hate all that tripe about "European nights and the Kop is rocking"

 

I was watching a match years ago with Dutch commentary and not understanding one jot of it when from out of the blue from a free kick I heard "<Dutch commentary> ...rising shot... <Dutch commentary>".

Do the Dutch not have a phrase for this in Dutch?

 

Or "Team X is playing in *colour of strip..."

Rub it in even more that I'm not able to watch this match, why don't you!


"There's no easy games in the Premier League" - saying that after Chelsea win another game 6-0

"It was always going to be a tough game" - Why didn't you say that before then, Nostra-****ing-damus!

"I'd have put my mortgage on him scoring" - No you wouldn't have.

"Two goalkeepers wouldn't have saved that" - Prove it.

 

Any sentence starting with 'At the end of the day...' usually followed by some banal insight such as '...they know they've been involved in a football match'.

Just gets on my tits.

 

Lawro justs opens his mouth and lets the words come out, even he doesn't know what's going to come out next.

And the annoying thing is that he actually gets paid for it!

 

I hate it when commentators say players operate well "in and around the box" ... (What like on the pitch as a whole?) ...

And "ohh, he was there and thereabouts", (isn't that just everywhere?)

"he was all over that one but he couldn't quite get his toe on it" ... (I thought he was all over it?)

"You've got the be good to wear boots THAT colour" ... (sorry I didn't know football was like karate!)

And when playing non-league teams in the FA Cup and such, you get to find out what every player does as their day job, "Oh, and here's Joe Bloggs, the village postman" and then the usual **** joke that comes with it like, "that was a great delivery from the part-time postman!"

Justin Lockwood annoys me on Real Radio when he tells you what foot a player has kicked the ball with (this happens a lot) and he annoys me when he gets excited about a player "looking to get there" but when you see the highlights they were no where near!

 

"Pick that out" - the goalie will, I'm sure.

"He's not enjoying his football at the moment" - poor guy, 100k a week doing what he loves, bummer.

 

Also, "This game needs a goal."

Thanks for that.

I've often wondered what the point of 22 men on a pitch playing a competitive sport called football is all about.

 

Actually it needs one at both ends!

I won't take my coat off!

 

Class!!!!!

 

friggin annoying

 

I ****ing hate when Paul Scholes does a terrible tackle and the commentators laugh it off - "That's Scholes for you".

"Your Frank Lampards or your Steven Gerrards" - there's two of each is there?

"That's a great ball in there but no-one was there" - so it's not a great ball then is it? Crossing to empty space? Well done, lad.

 

anything that came out of roger thames mouth

 

May not be relevant, but I hate playing Fulham on FIFA 11 because the commentators say Dempsey in a really suggest and possibly sexual way...

 

Reminds me of Lee Evans... "100k a week, I wouldn't hug him for scoring a goal, I'd shag him"

Other annoying lines

"any touch on that and it would have gone in the back of the net" - not necessarily!
"The next goal will change the game" - Dur!!
"My Nan could have scored that" - Yeah, I'm sure she could train 6 times a week, run around a pitch and get into the position to score.
"The sending off really changed the game" - Of course it did, it was then 11 v 10.
"Back in the day..." - Enough said.
"missed a sitter" - Who started that one, what is a sitter?

Oh and on fifa
"Alan Smith can crop up anywhere."
"Tevez and his bulldog like approach"

 

'Early Doors'

Early Doors? As opposed to what, late doors? Eh? Is it even English?

Commentator, watching Paul Scholes maims someone - 'oh, hahaha, Paul Scholes cant tackle at all, hahaha..oh, he can consider himself unlucky to be booked there'
Same commentator, watching Joey Barton win the ball cleanly ' THATS SHOCKING FROM BARTON!!! He'll surely get banned again, and rightly so!'

'Incredible goal/unbelievable goal*' No, its not incredible, or unbelievable, its just very very good.


'Ingerlaaahhhnd Claaaaaarrs/ Wowld Claaaaarrs' on any basically decent 6 yard pass by a London based player.


'stonewall penalty.' What?




* the only exception is of course 'unbelievable, Jeff'

 

Cant beat a nice unbelievable Jeff.

Personal annoance for me is similar to many people's favourites: "17 years and he still can't tackle, Paul Scholes(followed by chuckle)"
In fact that should be: "17 years and he still has moments where he dives in wrecklessly like a malicious bastard(followed by relevant card)"

 

meaning he sits around weezing like an asthmatic darth Vader licking his bollocks