Sir Michael Parkinson has died at 88, it’s just been announced. An absolute legend in broadcasting, and loved and revered for his chat show. RIP Michael
Lucy Letby found guilty of murdering 7 babies and attempting to kill 6 more. Burn in hell you ****ing monster. Makes me wish we could bring back the death penalty just for her. ****.
William Shakespeare walks into a bar, before he can order anything the landlord says "Get out, you’re Bard"
Good morning. Edinburgh fringe top 10 jokes 1 I started dating a zookeeper, but it turned out he was a cheetah. Lorna Rose Treen 44% 2 The most British thing I’ve ever heard? A lady who said ‘Well I’m sorry, but I don’t apologise.’ Liz Guterbock 41% 3 Last year I had a great joke about inflation. But it’s hardly worth it now. Amos Gill 40% 4 When women gossip we get called bitchy; but when men do it’s called a podcast. Sikisa 34% 5 I thought I’d start off with a joke about The Titanic – just to break the ice. Masai Graham 33% 6 How do coeliac Germans greet each other? Gluten tag. Frank Lavender 32% 7 My friend got locked in a coffee place overnight. Now he only ever goes into Starbucks, not the rivals. He’s Costa-phobic. Roger Swift 29% 8 I entered the ‘How not to surrender’ competition and I won hands down. Bennett Arron 29% 9 Nationwide must have looked pretty silly when they opened their first branch. William Stone 28% 10 My grandma describes herself as being in her ‘twilight years’ which I love because they’re great film Daniel Foxx 26%
Le Touquet airport is to be named after Queen Elizabeth II. They put a request in 6 days after her death and Charles has given permission . Nice touch
This is amazing, the cocky walk after the winning shot is funny... https://www.youtube.com/shorts/nmHzvQr3kYE
Issue 1604: Lookalikes Sir, Has anyone noticed the resemblance of the infamous TikToker Andrew Tate and this mummy from the reign of Emperor Hadrian (AD 117-138), currently on display at the Manchester Museum? I wonder which has the most outdated views? Tough to call! From I.S. please log in to view this image
No to the death penalty . I hope she lives a long time and spends every moment regretting what she has done .
A woman decided to give herself a big treat for her 70th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice hotel.. When she checked out the next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00. She demanded to know why the charge was so high "I agree it's a nice hotel, but the rooms aren't worth $250..00 for just an overnight stay - I didn't even have breakfast!" The clerk told her that $250.00 is the 'standard rate,' and breakfast had been included had she wanted it. She insisted on speaking to the Manager. The Manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, announced: "This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use." "But I didn't use them." 'Well, they are here, and you could have." He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which they were so famous."We have the best entertainers from the world over performing here." "But I didn't go to any of those shows.." "Well, we have them, and you could have." No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!" and the Manager countered with his standard response. After several minutes discussion, and with the Manager still unmoved, she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to him. The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check. "But Madam, this check is for only $50.00" "That's correct I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me." "But I didn't!" "Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."
