Annoying Commentator Cliches/Phrases

This!

Can't stand the twat. Have you noticed he gives himself a smug nod & blink everytime he makes a point?

As for annoying phrases, "He's got a yard ahead of himself there" does my head in. How can anyone (other than Cheik Tiote) get ahead of themselves? And also, "that's a stone wall free kick". Stone wall??? What makes a stone wall a good metaphor for an obvious decision?

 

"he couldnt have hit that any better" - uh yes he could, he could have hit it to either side of the keeper and then it would have been a goal

"for me" - especially shearer with this. e.g. "for me, that was a penalty" with every talking point

 

I hate the use of the term Stonewall for penalties/freekicks etc, it has no such meaning, stonewall actually means to block or refuse to co-operate, it drives me mad when commentators and pundits use it this way, take a nod Andy Idiot Gray.

 

I can't stand it when players/commentators/generally human beings say "he/I gave 110% (or 500% or 1000% etc)"...you cannot give more than 100%!

 

Also don't like the constant phrase "gatecrash the top four" - like they are the only ones who have a right to be there?

 

Something along the lines of 'You could tell it was destined for the top corner as soon as it left his foot!'

Really? Master at super quick Physic's calculations and also factoring in the physical, and biological, capabilities of the Keeper? Impressive stuff.

 

Cheik Tiote can give 110%... Cheik Tiote gives as much as he likes.

 

If you can get 125% mortgages... you can give 110%!

 

125% mortgages??!!! Sshhh we'll have another credit crisp if you're not careful!

 

when the whole Carroll affair was happening the sky sports bloke came out with this chestnut

" a shot in the arm for the long suffering Liverpool fans"
long suffering are you having a ****ing laugh try walking a mile in our shoes you tosser

hate it when people refer to themselves in the 3rd person and anything melty face says

 

I get annoyed when commentators always criticise the attendance at the Riverside.

We know lads. We know.

 

I hate it when they say its a great penalty when they've sent the keeper the wrong way. If the keeper had gone the right way it would have been easily saved therefore not a great ****ing penalty!

Also things like 'the referee had a great view', I should ****ing hope so as well, its his ****ing job and he does it a lot better than you! (aimed at the commentators)

Or just stupid so called facts, im sure it was Andy Gray a couple of years ago saying that the goalkeeper had to have a ham and cheese sandwich just before they came out the tunnel every match. Who gives a flying ****!

 

I think by "shot in the arm" he means heroin and by "long" suffering he means a few hours. Seems a lifetime when your cold turkey I guess...

 

Another great one, how can you send the keeper the wrong way?? You just get lucky if he goes the wrong way and it was a **** penalty.

 

"If you don't hit the target your never gona score" - Andy Gray on FIFA.... Always when your one down and your battling for a goal!!! I always get pissed off at that point!!!

 

Give him the eyes!!!!

 

If you had a £ for every time you've heard, "They think it's all over, it is now!" how rich would you be?

Personally I can't stand the sight or sound of Lawro and Green makes me fell like puking too!

 

Anything from ITV generally especially from Townsend and Beglin, the channel should be banned from showing live football, for crimes against football fans intelligence.

 

I hate when they say "His favourite left foot", well hello how many left feet has he got?

 

this one always mildly pisses me of

"There’s no easy games at international level"

try telling the aussies that one (Australia 31 - 0 American Samoa) plus this is used as a feeble excuse when a top team are struggling against a team they should stuff

"It’s been a game of two halves"
really thanks for that i was wondering why everyone had ****ed off after 90 mins and i was still sat there plus this is untrue when a match goes to extra time(cup match goes into extra time que the Einstein of football lawro "yeah it's been a game of two halves and we've got another two to come" think he flunked maths) annoying.