New Barbie film suffers PR nightmare days before release after explicit photos of Ken leak on the internet: please log in to view this image
They have just brought out a new Barbie doll. It's called the Divorced Barbie It comes as part of a set complete with Kens house and car.
I know some people will think I am showing off,but when you work hard all your life, you deserve to treat yourself. I can’t express the happiness I am feeling right now. White was the only color they had, but it doesn’t matter. The chairs will look amazing in my garden
A young guy had always wanted to join the circus and asked the ringmaster if there were any jobs going? The ringmaster said "Have you ever worked in a circus before? " The young guy says "No". The ringmaster replied "OK. You have to prove that you can handle it by completing 3 tasks. Drink a whole bottle of whisky then shag the female trapeze artist then take the bad tooth out of the mouth of the lion who has toothache" . So the guy drinks a whole bottle of whisky then he goes off. A little while later the guy returns covered in blood and poo and sperm and said " Where's the girl with the toothache?"
54 years ago the first moon walk. 21st July 1969 A photo of me on that walk taken by my late mate Neil.
A man boarded an aeroplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realised she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his: Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out. "Business trip or pleasure?" She turned, smiled and said. "Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston." He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked. “What’s your Business at this convention?" “Lecturer." She responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality." “Really?” He said. “And what kind of myths are there?” “Well.” She explained. “One popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican Descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck." Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. "I’m sorry." She said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name." "Tonto." The man said. "Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba."
Neil Armstrong got pissed off taking the photo. Apparently it took hours because every time he went to take the photo you had eaten your head.
If you like listening to music while having sex, choose a live album. That way, you get a round of applause every 3 to 4 minutes.
