My wife was getting ready to go out last night.. "You can't wear that." I said. "I can see your tits under it." "So you can." She said. "Do I need to wear a bra?" "Yeah, perhaps." I replied. "Or a longer dress."
This is a genuine one from my mates Facebook page, but I thought it was too funny not to share Another Di- isim Di- I know you might think I'm daft Me - no never Di - well I'm sure those plants I got for the caravan are growing Me - Di those plants are fake (plastic) . Di- yes I know but they're still growing, they weren't that big when I bought them. Me - I give up. Ps no drinking was involved in the making of this statement.
I asked my wife if she thought I should get rid of the things I kept hold of just in case I might need them one day. She asked me if I was thinking about about my penis and our lack of a sex life. I said, hell no - I've always kept my hand in!
–Your grandma wore very short mini skirts, thin panties, high boots, and no bra... –She listened to Led Zeppelin, The Beatles, Janis Joplin, and Rolling Stones. –She rode on motorcycles and fast cars. –She smoked tobacco and other things... –She drank gin-tonics, whiskey, and whatever... –She came home at 4 am and left for work in the morning... Know that you will never be as cool as your grandma. Excuse me but someone had to say it!
