Off Topic The Goodhand Arms

The like was to show sympathy, that is horrible.

 

Oh **** that's horrible. I know it doesn't help your predicament today but I hope the cops find the ****er who stole it.

 

I hope I do frankly.

 

At least the band weren't in it Laces, you don't want to lose the Cult too. .

Still sucks though

 

I'm sorry to hear that. At least you are safe mate it could've been much much worse in this day and age.

 

Man phones his wife from the hospital and tells her he's had his finger cut off in an accident at work.

“Oh my god!" she cries..."the whole finger?”

“NO!" he says...." the one next to it ".....

 

I told my therapist I can’t get the Grease soundtrack out of my head...

He said “tell me more”.

 

Did you get very far?

 

She was good, you know what I mean

 

Every weekend this married couple wanted to have their usual Sunday afternoon "quickie" but their 8 -year old son was always in the flat. So they played this game where they would send him out on the balcony with a Mars Bar and tell him to report on all the street activities.

Their 8-year old began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation;

'There's a car being towed from the car park,' he shouted.

'An ambulance just drove past'

'Looks like the Andersons have visitors,' he called out.

'Matt's riding a new bike!'

'Looks like the Sanders are moving!'

'Jason is on his skateboard!

After a few moments he announced, 'The Coopers are having a shag!

Startled, his mum and dad shot up in bed!

Dad cautiously called out, 'How do you know that?'

'Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Mars Bar.'

 

https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/860646-pic-how-to-tell-the-sex-of-a-bird/

 

My Mrs kept breaking the washing machine so I had to get rid of her. Washing machines live longer with cow gone.

 

Although Winnie the Pooh knew how much he would miss Piglet he still enjoyed his bacon sandwich.