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The good fairy

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by TC (Lovely Geezer), Nov 13, 2011.

  1. TC (Lovely Geezer)

    TC (Lovely Geezer) Well-Known Member

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    A beautiful fairy appeared one day to an asylum seeker claimant outside the Social Security Offices.


    'My good man,' the fairy said,
    'I've been told by David Cameron to grant you three wishes, since you’ve just arrived in England with your wife and seven children – all costs to be borne by the British Tax Payers.'

    The man told the fairy:
    'Well, in Iraq where I come from we don't have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them.'
    The fairy looked at the man's almost toothless grin and
    -- PING !!! The Asylum Seeker had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth!

    'What else?' asked the fairy, 'two more wishes to go'.

    The Asylum Seeker refugee claimant now got bolder.
    'I need a big house with a three car garage on the Coast with eight bedrooms – and a Gold Visa Card in each room - for my family and the rest of my refugee relatives who still live in Iraq; I want to bring them all over here.

    PING ! - In the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a three car garage, a long driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ, and a sparkling swimming pool and a BMW, full of his nephews playing their music.

    'One more wish left for you', said the fairy, waving her wand.

    The Asylum Seeker refugee claimant really decided to go for broke now and said “I want to be English with English clothes instead of the rags and shawl , and I want to have white skin like the English.'

    PING ! - The man was transformed, wearing worn-out trainers, a dirty Man Utd T-shirt and a greasy baseball hat. He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon.
    'What happened to my new teeth?' he wailed. 'Where is my new house? Where’s my Visa Gold Card?'
    The fairy said
    'Tough luck. Now that you are English,
    You're entitled to
    Sweet f*** all like the rest of us.
    And she disappeared.
     
    #1
  2. MaHatMaBunnet

    MaHatMaBunnet New Member

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    That was truly ****ing awful.
     
    #2
  3. irishgreen

    irishgreen Well-Known Member

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    **** off you racist **** <ok>
     
    #3
  4. Otto Flayshow

    Otto Flayshow Well-Known Member

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    What a tragic attempt at humour.
     
    #4
  5. RAVENBLACK

    RAVENBLACK Well-Known Member

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    But painfully true about how we look after our own no matter race, colour, religion etc.
     
    #5
  6. thephatone

    thephatone Member

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    Made me laugh!!
     
    #6
  7. Mind The Duck

    Mind The Duck Well-Known Member

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    If it wasn't so old it might have brought on a chuckle
     
    #7
  8. Sam Axe

    Sam Axe Active Member

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    It doesn't have to be funny because it's true
     
    #8
  9. The Raging Oxter

    The Raging Oxter Well-Known Member

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    What? That English people are tramps who support Man Utd and have bad teeth?

    Fair enough.
     
    #9
  10. Toby

    Toby GC's Life Coach

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    Was that your favourite joke in the Daily Mail yesterday TC?
     
    #10

  11. monacoger

    monacoger POTY 2021

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    Yesterday was Sunday, so no Daily Mail would have been on sale, but if it was, it certainly wouldn't have been Fred Basset, as that is the worst cartoon strip ever.
     
    #11
  12. thefanwithnoname

    thefanwithnoname Well-Known Member

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    FFS get a sense of humour you miserable gonads <ok>

    Toby did the iraqi cry for long?
     
    #12
  13. thefanwithnoname

    thefanwithnoname Well-Known Member

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    if you thought that was bad here is another

    was sitting on my couch watching tv when the doorbell rang , i opened the door and outside was a black coffin , so i give him a cough sweet and told him to **** off
     
    #13
  14. The Raging Oxter

    The Raging Oxter Well-Known Member

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    Nemi in the Metro has to be the worst.
     
    #14
  15. SUPERNORWICH 23

    SUPERNORWICH 23 SUPERNORWICH

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    You have METRO in Scotchland ?
     
    #15
  16. monacoger

    monacoger POTY 2021

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    I haven't seen that one, but it must really be ****ing ****e to be worse than Fred Basset.
     
    #16
  17. The Raging Oxter

    The Raging Oxter Well-Known Member

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    We invented newspapers.
     
    #17
  18. thefanwithnoname

    thefanwithnoname Well-Known Member

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    why do YOU think they want independence?
     
    #18
  19. thefanwithnoname

    thefanwithnoname Well-Known Member

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    do they still have that 'love is......' ****e these days?
     
    #19
  20. SUPERNORWICH 23

    SUPERNORWICH 23 SUPERNORWICH

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    We have a free one in London tube stations, is it the same?

    please log in to view this image
     
    #20

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