Off Topic Things that aren't worth a new thread ...

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Story from a retired Bank Manager fom just over 20 years ago.

Cusomer and wife come ino their Bank, to complaine about a direct debit that has cropped quite a few times, up on their statement and which no onehas been able to explain.
Had they ask The Branch Standing Order Clerk, she would have known how to find out.
They didn't, They insisted on seenin A Manager instead,
The Manager did ask the Standing Order Clerk though.
He phoned the contact number she gave him, and got the answer.

Back in his Office, Mr & Mrs are waiting.
Desperate not to cause offence, he asked which of them was making the complant.
I am, said Mr.
In that cas would your wife like to leave the room.
No, Mr says strait away.,
Nothing you can't say in front of her.
OK/,

Well Sir, do you watch much late night TV.
A bit, says Mr.
VERY VERY late night asks the Manager.

At this stage, it started to dawn on him what this was about.
But he was just a tad slower than Mrs.

You Dirty Bast**d, yeav'e beem watch that Porn again hivent ye.
Jusy yea wait till ah get yea home.

And both left the office.

<laugh>

A work colleague was a warped genius who thought up schemes to con lots of people out of small sums of money. He's now running a beach bar in Hawaii so perhaps it worked.

One of his regular scams was to send an invoice, to recent widows in their husbands name, for 'erotica literature' and offer to waive the bill if the books were returned.

Around half would send a cheque, this was the 70's, which he'd keep for two months then cash. I never knew why he didn't bank them immediately but he was never pulled and always had cash.

Awful thing to do tbh.
 
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There’s a parliamentary hearing into the Schofield affair. Right now.
Jesus wept.
I suppose it’s not like they have anything more important to worry about.


When I read this,the first thing I did was to check the date.
So it isn't April First then.
And as others have replied and not challenged it's reality, I can only assume it is all true.

I make a dinner for Number two Grandson on Wednesdays. He's sixteen.
When he called today, I felt duty bound to apologise for The World that MY Generation are handing over to his Generation.
We have allowed The Woke to take over.
While we laughed at them, they took control.

Is there an Anti-Woke League I can join.

If there isn't one yet, there should be and soon as those, like me, who have been sleepwaling while this take-over occured, wake up.
 
There’s a parliamentary hearing into the Schofield affair. Right now.
Jesus wept.
I suppose it’s not like they have anything more important to worry about.

It's insanity gone mad, what has gone wrong with our priorities.

I just read a headline that makes me wonder how many people believe scientists should be concentrating on finding alien life ...

... is anyone really hoping we find bugs millions of miles away.

'Phosphates have been found on Saturn’s moon Enceladus, in a new breakthrough discovery that boosts hopes for finding alien life in our solar system.'


https://www.independent.co.uk/space/saturn-moon-enceladus-alien-life-b2357983.html
 
It's insanity gone mad, what has gone wrong with our priorities.

I just read a headline that makes me wonder how many people believe scientists should be concentrating on finding alien life ...

... is anyone really hoping we find bugs millions of miles away.

'Phosphates have been found on Saturn’s moon Enceladus, in a new breakthrough discovery that boosts hopes for finding alien life in our solar system.'


https://www.independent.co.uk/space/saturn-moon-enceladus-alien-life-b2357983.html
I don’t know what the hurry is . If we find intelligent life , then obviously they’ve also become aware of us. They’ll either destroy us , or show us the way to the perfect life which will require giving up everything that people will resent giving up .
 
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. . . . and
Gordon McQueen, former Scotland defender, dies aged 70
He was a part of the legendary 1970s Leeds team, winning 30 caps for Scotland and the FA Cup whilst with Manchester United.
Guardian sport
Gordon McQueen, the former Leeds and Man. U. defender, who won 30 caps for Scotland, has died at the age of 70.


The towering centre-half came to prominence in the outstanding Leeds team of the mid-1970s.
He was bought from St Mirren in 1972 and eventually took the place of 1966 World Cup winner Jack Charlton, after Charlton’s retirement and Paul Madeley’s shift from defence.

McQueen was at the heart of the team for most of the 1973-74 campaign when Leeds won the league championship after beginning with a run of 29 matches without defeat.
 
One of the good-uns of stage, screen, and political life has left us . . . .

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She once said, without a trace of irony, that the pinnacle of her acting career was appearing on the Morecambe and Wise Show :emoticon-0105-wink:

A wonderful actress and interesting woman with forthright views ...

... way above the so-called 'national treasures' like Lumley or Dench imo.

Rest in Peace Glenda love
 
Horrible little man, what a tosser ...

"ROCKET Man Elton John blasted security guards at one of his last ever Scottish gigs because they tried to stop fans dancing.

The singer lost his rag with crews and branded them “morons” when he reckoned they were being over the top with the crowd."


https://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/tv...n-john-aberdeen-security-guards-outburst/amp/

You won't get many agreeing with you here. With your background you would automatically look at it from a security and safety perspective and you are no doubt right.

Most will see this and thinking good on Elton for sticking up for fans etc.
 
You won't get many agreeing with you here. With your background you would automatically look at it from a security and safety perspective and you are no doubt right.

Most will see this and thinking good on Elton for sticking up for fans etc.

Well they'd be wrong for many reasons, sorry.

Disabled, and those unable to stand, would have their view blocked after having paid out a fortune to see the show.

Venues have various safety certificates meaning people aren't allowed to stand in certain ones.

We had twenty two people die at the Arianna Grande concert when security was blamed.

We've just had a lone nutter with a knife murder three people.

I could go on.
 
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Well they'd be wrong for many reasons, sorry.

Disabled, and those unable to stand, would have their view blocked after having paid out a fortune to see the show.

Venues have various safety certificates meaning people aren't allowed to stand in certain ones.

We had twenty two people die at the Arianna Grande concert when security was blamed.

We've just had a lone nutter with a knife murder three people.

I could go on.

Didn't say you were wrong. Most will just view it as Elton not letting security spoil it for the fans.

Lack of thinking by them and Elton obviously.
 

Didn't say you were wrong.
Most will just view it as Elton not letting security spoil it for the fans.

Lack of thinking by them and Elton obviously.

I know that mate, just responding to people who think he's a hero for doing it. How many times do people complain about people standing at football matches and, realistically, most of his fans will be knocking on.

It reminds me of when we had the Thomson Twins at Rock City and they were pulling people on stage to play tambourines, maracas, etc, which we didn't like.

We tried to stop them but they went on the mike and called us fascists, etc. After a while everyone wanted to be on stage and it was so crowded they couldn't play. Then they asked security to clear the stage ...

... we just laughed at them and watched while their roadies took fifteen minutes to restore order <laugh>
 
think elton will have done enough shows to realise there HAS to be a strong element of safety with so many gathered together, quite a few merry from the drink...he also knows how to work a crowd, would seem he got his little bit of hero worship then back to his routine, no harm done and he gained a few brownie points.
 
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