Every time your up at court, your putting your fate in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
I went to see my doctor this morning. "How can I help you?" she asked. "I found a lump while I was in the bath," I replied, pointing downwards. "Oh right," she said, "Take your trousers down for me." After having a good old feel of my bollocks for a few minutes, she said, "I can't feel a lump." I said, "It's on my toe."
I viewed a woman's profile on a dating site back in the day : Blonde 33 From London Great Personality 5ft 3 green eyes. Don't get me wrong, I like short girls, but 3 green eyes? No wonder she can't find a bloke.
I’m dating a bin lady at the moment but I can never remember if I’m supposed to take her out on a Monday or a Wednesday.