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The Official Man Utd & Liverpool plus Chelsea, Everton and City Banter Thread!

Discussion in 'Manchester United' started by UIR - Kagawa Powa, Jul 21, 2011.

  1. Chief

    Chief Northern Simpleton
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    He no doubt thinks he's living the life now eh? Good on him if that's his aim, seems to be a bit young to be ticking the boxes to me though.
    I mean, who the **** at that age starts getting his shags tottooed on his arse? He's setting his sights ****ing low IMO if he thinks he'll get them all on his backside over time. If I'd done that I'd have them over my sodding forehead by now.
     
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  2. StJohn_Red_Legend

    StJohn_Red_Legend Active Member

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    Yeah, Ann Widdecombe is a big name and with the big font you'd use, it might just stretch that far :grin:
     
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  3. Sweats

    Sweats Sure
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    Is that meant to be funny??
     
    #10603
  4. StJohn_Red_Legend

    StJohn_Red_Legend Active Member

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    Which one? Shagging Ann Widdecombe, or having her name tattooed from arse to forehead?:huh:
     
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  5. suarezlfc

    suarezlfc Active Member

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    That looks more like John Flanagan than Luis Suarez

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    #10605
  6. Foredeckdave

    Foredeckdave Music Thread Manager

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    If Ruffian did have Ann Widdecombe's name tattooed from arse to forhead then I'm sure that it would be done "IN THE BEST POSSIBLE TASTE"
     
    #10606
  7. Chief

    Chief Northern Simpleton
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    Why Ann Widdecombe?

    If you're going to have me having shagged some munter, why not someone like Jarmila Kratochvilova (iron curtain Czech 800m runner) who was ****ing butt ugly, looked like a man as she was so pumped full of steroids and had guns to envy, had hairy armpits, thighs bigger than Mark Hughes's and actually had a long name.




    I also would have. If pissed.
     
    #10607
  8. Chief

    Chief Northern Simpleton
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    This:


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    she was around a LONG time before that South African hermaphrodite.
     
    #10608
  9. Sweats

    Sweats Sure
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    <laugh>

    Even I wouldn't stoop that low pissed or not..

    When I was at uni I shagged the captain of the lacrosse team.. She had muscles.. Literally threw me round her room like a rag doll.. A truly awesome experience.. Was battered and bruised..
     
    #10609
  10. Chief

    Chief Northern Simpleton
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    Nor would I but just thought I'd offer something up that was actually funny, rather than some lame failed attempt!

    I've nobbed a few 'fun' sized birds mind, although none as fat or grey or haunted looking as Anne Widdecombe.
    Charlie Brooker described her as having a face like haunted cave in Poland, which was probably the funniest thing I read all last year.
     
    #10610

  11. Swarbs

    Swarbs Well-Known Member
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    When I was at uni I shagged the girls boat club captain. She was the same height and weight as me...6'1" and 82 kg! I think she could row as fast as me too and had the core muscles and strength for some awesome positions....

    Happy days ;)
     
    #10611
  12. Sweats

    Sweats Sure
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    as you know I've had a few this year, some built comfort others for speed.. Haven't actually had a muscle bound one though..

    Swarbs in my younger days I dated a super posh bird.. Didn't need a job daddy gave her an allowance, you know the sort.. All she did was ride horses and do gymnastics.. She had the most powerful legs I've ever experienced and was like a contortionist .. That was a fun summer.. How something as random as an ugly german has triggered memories of birds I'd otherwise have forgotten all about..
     
    #10612
  13. Chief

    Chief Northern Simpleton
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    She's Czech.

    CZECH.
     
    #10613
  14. Sweats

    Sweats Sure
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    <laugh>

    Well she looked german
     
    #10614
  15. Chief

    Chief Northern Simpleton
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    East German, to be more specific.

    ****ing hell, those were the days. Remember them? East German and Czech women athletes looking like blokes cleaning up in the athletics.

    Apart from Heike Drechsler, who was actually very fit indeed;


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    #10615
  16. Sweats

    Sweats Sure
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    Wasn't there a super fit russell bird pole vaulter too?
     
    #10616
  17. Swarbs

    Swarbs Well-Known Member
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    Actually she was a German, but how did you know her name was Walter?
     
    #10617
  18. Sweats

    Sweats Sure
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    Haha meant russain
     
    #10618
  19. Chief

    Chief Northern Simpleton
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    This is a pole vaulter apparently, Allison Stokke;


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    she's alright.
     
    #10619
  20. suarezlfc

    suarezlfc Active Member

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    Russian long jumper Darya Klishina:
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    #10620

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