Date: Sunday 5th March 2023 Kick off time: 16.30 Location: Anfield The guest presenter for our next game is Harry Potter. Harry says "Well after a win against Wolves I expect more confidence within the Liverpool team and hopefully we will see some magic from Nunez. Manchester United are on a good run a the moment and won the League Cup recently, not as important a trophy as The Triwizard Tournament which I won once, but as they have not won much in recent years their fans got a bit excited. United must consider themselves favourites on current form, but Hermione sh*gs Ron Weasley so anything is possible! I would love to wave my wand and produce a 7-0 victory for Liverpool, but I can't use magic in front of all you Muggles. I predict a closer game than most would expect, but Quiditch is my game not football so what the hell do I know" Thank you Harry, now get on your broom and f*ck off.
I've never read the books, and fell asleep during the first film so I can't think of any Harry Potter puns.
Quidditch is the stupidest game ever thought of. A team of players doing a bunch of complicated malarkey and it doesn't matter who does what, all that matters is who touches the snitch first. Imagine if in football you could be losing 5-0 but still win the game because your captain was the first captain to commit handball. Why is the rest of the team even there? Anyhow, I have full confidence Henderson is the better captain at commiting handball.
Also, I'd like to point out that in French the word for wand is "Baguette", yes, just like the word for loaf! (It's also used for a policeman's truncheon and sometimes for penis). Anyhow... So in French Harry Potter, Potter waves a baguette around. . I guess that makes the elder wand an "old baguette". No wonder Voldemort is so crusty. Speaking of Voldemort, in order to make the anagram thing with Tom Riddle work, his middle name is Elvis in the French version of the book. Not sure if I can take an evil villain named Elvis that waves magic baguettes around seriously. Even sillier when baguette can also mean penis.
so aside from milk looking at crusty cock, is anyone expecting anything else but a cluster **** this weekend?
So more Voldemort trivia: "Tom Riddle" can be made to look like an Esperanto name by changing it to "Tomo Ridlo" (removing double letters and changing ending vowel to an o). "Tomo Ridlo" is an anagram of "Ilo Mortdo" which translated to English means "Tool of Death". This is so much cooler than the name switcheroo in English.
I am no Harry Potter fan I haven’t read the books but I think you are being a bit harsh on Quidditch there I thought there was a match going on And generally if the snitch wasn’t caught then the match result becomes important and relevant as the idea of catching the snitch is supposed to be very hard and almost impossible I have no analogy for this but that was my understanding of the game lol
I always felt sorry for the poor bastrd who had to fck off to get the ball back after someone smashed it through one of them hoops. Like when you played footy in the park and one of your ****er friends decided to smash it as hard as he could from a yard out and it went for fcking miles and you'd say "you can fcking go and get that you twat"
