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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

Page 679 of 830
  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13561
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 24, 2023
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13562
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 24, 2023
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Young couple took their two-year-old son to the doctor.
    With some hesitation, they explained that, although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.
    After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared,
    "Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem."
    The next morning, when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.
    "Gee, mum," he exclaimed. "For me?"
    "Just take two," his mother replied.
    "The rest are for your father
     
    #13563
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 24, 2023
    San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  4. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    I phoned a Chinese takeaway tonight, after numerous attempts of trying to get through
    a man answered and said “hello, I’m whan king the chef.”

    I said “no worries, I’ll call back later.”
     
    #13564
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 24, 2023
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  5. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13565
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 24, 2023
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Shamima Begum is said to have contemplated suicide after this week's court ruling.

    She said "I'd started making the Vest and everything!"
     
    #13566
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 25, 2023
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I decided to go to the local Mosque for the first time to see what it was all about.
    I sat down and the Imam came up to me, laid his hands on my hand and said "By the will of Allah the All Mighty, and the Prophet Muhammad you will walk today".
    I told him I was not paralyzed. He came back and laid his hands on me and repeated the same thing.
    Again I told him there is nothing wrong with me.
    After the prayers I stepped outside and lo and behold, my bloody car was gone.
     
    #13567
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 25, 2023
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    An Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man asks him,“What's wrong?”
    The boy says,“Me ma is dead”.
    “Oh bejaysus,"the man says. “Do you want me to call Father O'Riley for you?”
    The boy replies,“No tanks mister. Sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment.”
     
    #13568
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 25, 2023
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13569
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 28, 2023
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Two Irishmen are traveling to Australia.
    Before they leave home, one of their dads gives them both a bit of advice: "You watch them Aussie cab drivers. They'll rob you blind.
    Don't you go paying them what they ask. You haggle."
    At the Sydney airport, the Irishmen catch a cab to their hotel.
    When they reach their destination, the cabbie says, "That'll be twenty dollars, lads."
    "Oh no you don't! My dad warned me about you. You'll only be getting fifteen dollars from me," says one of the men.
    "And you'll only be getting fifteen from me too," adds the other!
     
    #13570
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 28, 2023
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13571
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 28, 2023
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13572
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 28, 2023
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Disappointment in Barnsley as what was first thought to be Northern Lights, turns out to be Vauxhall Nova on fire......

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    #13573
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 1, 2023
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  14. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    the religion of peace managing to save on gas bills i see
     
    #13574
    Makemstine Roger, Mar 1, 2023
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13575
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 1, 2023
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13576
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 1, 2023
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I have some racing geese for sale.

    Let me know if you want a quick gander
     
    #13577
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 1, 2023
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13578
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 1, 2023
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13579
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 1, 2023
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13580
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 1, 2023
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Page 679 of 830
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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