please log in to view this image “There’s no place for that kind of filth in this football ground” says steward, before removing Douglas Ross from stadium
Lert alert please log in to view this image My husband and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.' The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change. Do not confuse the people at MacD's. please log in to view this image We had to have the garage door repaired. The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'You need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.' We haven't used that repairman since... please log in to view this image I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local city council office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deers are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.' please log in to view this image My daughter went to a Mexican fast food and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce. please log in to view this image I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.' please log in to view this image The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an 'intellectually challenged' co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the beeper was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'what on earth are blind people doing driving?!' She is a government employee..... please log in to view this image When my wife and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a service, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. ‘Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.' STAY ALERT! They walk among us, they breed, and they vote….... You now have 2 options... Delete it….. or Pass it along to put a smile on someone's face today!.
Although if we accept a chicken is ‘cooked’ at 205 degrees Celsius, then it must be pretty much charcoal.
I actually knew someone who stole a double-decker from Hemel after a night touring the local inns. He crashed it in Watford, and got 14 days inside for his trouble.
I used to play Sunday League football with a with a guy who made a joke about having the Crown Jewels not being in his car... Six months.
It’s 75 degrees Celsius. We cook it at a higher temperature for it to reach 75. If we were to cook until it was 205, there wouldn’t be much left.
Mrs B doesn't - her plan is to just leave everything, knowing full well that it won't take me long to get fed up with the mess and do the cleaning, washing up, laundry, vacuuming etc myself. Just as cunning I suppose.
What really pisses Mrs NZ off is when I clean up things that she is using. She gets really upset when she finds that her cup of tea has been put in the dishwasher.
I get up and put my mug in the dishwasher and the cry goes up "what about mine" Today I get up and put my plate in the dishwasher, this time I take Mrs S plate too and the cry goes up "wheres my plate" This could be a seperate thread.
