An idiot drove past me in the opposite direction on the main A65 road near Kendal the other day, just couldn't believe my eyes, there was loads of traffic about, unbelievable Jeff.
"Happy 18th son! All these presents are just for you!" After ripping them open excitedly, he said "Dad, all these boxes are empty." "I know. Use them to pack your things and get the f*ck out!"
We use to have a teacher called Miss Turtle at school. She was a strange woman, but she tortoise well
I had been at the pub till midnight. When I got to the bottom of the stairs, I got undressed, switched off the lights and started to sneak up. "What the f*ck are you doing?" asked the bus driver.