Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

A Romanian, an Arab and a Yorkshire lass are in the same bar in Leeds.

> When the Romanian finishes his beer, he throws his glass into the air, pulls

> out a pistol and shoots the glass to pieces. He then says "In Romania, our

> glass is so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice".

> The Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks his non-alcoholic beer, throws

> his glass in the air, pulls out his AK47 and shoots the glass to pieces. He

> shouts out, "In the Arab world, we have so much sand to make glass, we also don't have to drink

> with the same glass twice!"

> The Yorkshire lass, cool as a cucumber, downs her pint of Tetley's in one

> go, throws her glass into the air, whips out her shotgun and shoots the

> Romanian and the Arab.

> Catching her glass and setting it on the bar and calling for a refill says,

> "In Yorkshire we 'ave so many bloody illegal immigrants, we don't 'ave to

> drink wi' same ones twice!"

 

A Catholic priest and an Imam were sitting in adjacent seats on an airplane. The Catholic priest was having his bacon sandwich while the Imam had a veggie burger. After a while, the priest turned to the Imam and asked,
"Is it still a requirement of your faith that you do not eat pork?"

The Imam responded, "Yes, that is still one of our laws."

The priest then asked, "Have you ever eaten a bacon sandwich?"

"No" answered the Imam

The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading. A while later the Imam spoke up and asked, "Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?"

The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith."

The Imam then asked him, "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?"

The priest replied, "Yes, on one occasion I was weak and broke the pledge of my faith."

The Imam nodded understandingly and remained silent for several minutes.

Finally, the Imam quietly observed, "Beats the s*it out of a bacon sandwich, doesn't it?"

 

• My mate somehow got a vacuum cleaner hose stuck up his arse.
• When I phoned the hospital to see how he was doing, they told me he was picking up nicely.

 

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Eh ?

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This my best one for a while !!!!

A dog limps into a saloon and asks "Which one of you shot my paw?"

 

I parked my car at the hospital when the attendant shouted over to me,
"You can't park there, that's for badge holders only!"
I said, "I have got a bad shoulder".

 

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fill ya boots, i think he already has hope its not shyte