A man calls the RSPCA and tells them that he’s just found a dog and two puppies in a suitcase whilst out for a walk. The man from the RSPCA says, ‘That doesn’t sound good, are they moving?’ The bloke replies, ‘I’m not sure… but that would explain the suitcase’
arranged to meet the missus for a spot of lunch at the pub yesterday, when i arrived she was already sat at a table so got a drink and sauntered over, she had a strange expression on her face then blurted out she'd had sex with three men before we met...i said '**** me, i'm only 20 minutes late'
was in a crowded pub with a couple of mates, there was a bad feeling in the air and it looked like there was gonna be a set to. we where up against it and cornered by a larger group. ' i said, this doesn't look good, any suggestions..?.....my mate said 'why don't we pretend we're the police, and bluff it'......no good i only got as far as 'you don't have to wear that dress tonight, when i was hit with a pool cue'...
