An ex British army medic had been unemployed for short time. He could not find a job he liked so he opened his own medical clinic and put a sign up outside: "Get your treatment for £500, if not treated get £1,000 back." A clever doctor thought that this was a good opportunity to earn £1,000 and went to the clinic. Doctor: "I have lost my ability to taste." Medic: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth." Doctor: "This is petrol!" Medic: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be £500." The doctor left feeling very annoyed and went back a couple of days later to recover his money. Doctor: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything." Medic: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth." Doctor: "But thats petrol again!" Medic: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be £500." The Doctor left angrily and came back after several more days. Doctor: "My eyesight has become very weak." Medic : "Well, I don't have any medicine for that. Take this £1,000." Doctor: "But this is only £500!" Medic : "Congratulations! You've got your vision back! That will be £500 . . ."
cheers mate i need a bit of sympathy if you think that was terrible don't get me started i know some bad ones
The Bermuda Triangle used to be known as the Bermuda Rectangle, until one of the sides mysteriously vanished.
My Grandad only had one leg, but still managed to work 40 years in a brewery. He was in charge of the hops.
My Nan said to me "I have just done a silent fart . . . . what should I do?" I said "Change the batteries in your hearing aid."
Just saying. If you squeeze the end of your penis until the end turns blue, the person sitting next to you on the bus will get up and move!
