I saw Sinead O’Connor in a birdwatching hide yesterday. I asked her what kind of activity she’d seen... She replied “It’s been seven owls and fifteen jays....”
Tony Mowbray, Antonio Conte, Vincent Kompany and Eddie Howe are sat in a pub. Howe gets the 1st round in, Kompany the 2nd, Conte the 3rd. Mowbray then goes the bar and gets Conte, Kompany and himself one.... So Eddie Howe storms over and and says “where's mine?'.. Mowbray says "'sorry pal this is the 4th round and you”re not in it'""... FTM.. LALAN..
I saw a woman crying who had locked her keys in her car. I said that I would fix it. She was amazed when I pulled off my pants, rolled them into a tight ball, then rubbed them up against the car door and the lock popped open. Amazed, she said "how the hell did you do that?" I said, "easy, these are my Khaki's."
