A traffic copper spots an old lady knitting as she is driving along in her car, he puts his blue flashing lights on & pulls up along side her gestering for her to stop, “pull over” he mouths to her, “no it's a cardigan" she yells back!!
got off with a vegan bird the other night, great shag and the next morning thought she looked familiar then i remembered that i'd been in herbivore
A man goes to a female dentist to have a tooth extracted. She pulled out a large syringe to give an anesthesia shot. “No way, no needles! I hate needles!” the man exclaimed. So she started to hook up the nitrous oxide tank, and the man said, “I can’t do the gas thing. Just the thought of having a mask on my face suffocates me! The dentist then asked the patient if he had any objections to taking a pill. “No,” he says, “I’m fine with pills. “So the dentist gave him two little blue pills and he swallowed them. “What are those?” he asked.” Viagra,” she replied. “I’ll be damned,” said the patient, “I didn’t know Viagra worked as a pain killer.” “It doesn’t,” said the dentist, “But it will give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth out"
Bruce is driving over the Sydney Harbor Bridge one day when he sees his girlfriend, Sheila about to throw herself off. Bruce slams on the brakes and yells "Sheila, what the hell d'ya think ya doing?" Sheila turns around with a tear in her eye and says "G'day Bruce. Ya got me pregnant and so now I'm gonna kill meself". Bruce gets a lump in his throat when he hears this. He says "Strewth Sheila... not only are you a great shag, but you're a real sport too!"
