During this festive season don't forget to take time to mention those three special words to your loved ones. "I'm off out"
My mate asked me the other day 'What's your ring tone?' I replied 'I've never looked to be honest but I'd imagine light brownish'.
A public service announcement, just in case it affects anyone else. I bought a new, fairly high-end laptop back in June, and for the first several weeks all was just dandy. From then on it started performing terribly: games ran awfully (I was getting 35 fps in freaking Football Manager, a game that can be run on a turnip), video and even browser instances sometimes stuttered, which is suboptimal given that I spent considerably more on this thing than I ever had on a computer previous. Started getting random blue-screens as well. Couldn't figure out why...I uninstalled and reinstalled drivers, changed every setting I could think of, even did a completely clean install of Windows, and the problem persisted. Only reason I hadn't tried to get the thing warrantied was that I need it for work and I don't really have a backup. It turns out that Windows 11 has a fancy new security setting, called Memory Integrity, which is active by default. And it turns out that Windows 11's fancy new security setting has a tendency to cause major issues for drivers, which can both tank performance: https://www.theverge.com/2022/10/6/...-security-features-improve-gaming-performance And seems to generate a lot of reports about it causing blue-screens when Windows borks drivers: https://answers.microsoft.com/en-us...ntegrity/3e65b01b-6347-4dbb-ab97-db35498a7abd Two days after turning off Memory Integrity, everything seems to be running perfectly fine. So just on the off chance that anyone has a newer computer/one that got forcibly upgraded to Windows 11, and perhaps has spent more hours than they'd care to admit searching for a solution that doesn't involve a large hammer, there might just be a magic slider marked "unfuck my computer" waiting for you in the Windows settings.
Recent scientific study has found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. For example when ovulating she prefers a man with rugged masculine features. When she is menstruating she prefers a man doused in petrol, set on fire with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump rammed up his arse!!!
Couple driving home and run over a badger. They get out and find it's still breathing but freezing cold, and barely alive. He says, "Put it between your legs to warm it up." She says, "But it's all wet and it stinks." He says, "Well hold its ****ing nose then!"
The nurse at the sperm bank asked me if I'd like to masturbate in the cup. I said, "Well, I'm pretty good, but I don't think I'm ready to compete just yet."
Anyone looking for a film to watch take a look at Emancipation, starring Will Smith as a runaway slave who joins the Union army to help defeat the Confederates and to end slavery. Based on the story of a slave whose picture, showing welts on his back from whipping, went “global” and was used to depict the horrors of slavery, at the time - 1863-65 Available on IPTV for those who have it. Not sure if it will see Smith nominated for awards, but it was a great performance.
Going to watch it tonight - for those that don't have IPTV, it is on Apple TV+ as I know some of you may get that free with your apple devices/mobile contract.
