A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. Since the equipment arrived when his wife was out of town, he decided to test it on himself first. So, he inserted his 'manhood' into the equipment, turned on the switch and everything else was automatic. Soon, he realized that the equipment provided him with much more pleasure than his wife did. When the fun was over, though, he quickly realized that he couldn't remove the instrument from his 'member'. He read the manual but didn't find any useful information on how to disengage himself. He tried every button on the instrument, but still without success. Finally, he decided to call the supplier's Customer Service Hot Line with his mobile phone (Thank god for mobile phones!). 'Hello, I just bought a milking machine from your company. It works Fantastic, but how do I remove it from the cow's udder?' 'Don't worry,' replied the customer service rep, 'The machine will release automatically once it's collected two gallons.' Have a nice day.
The nurse at the sperm bank asked me if I'd like to masturbate in the cup. I said, "Well, I'm pretty good, but I don't think that I'm ready to compete just yet."
Paddy and Mick both went out and bought VW Beetles.. One day Mick was stopped on the side of the road with the bonnet up on his car while scratching his head.. Paddy came by and asked Mick what was wrong.. Mick said "I think I have located the problem" Paddy asked "what is that..??" Mick answered "I think I have lost my engine.." Paddy quickly answered back "That's OK I have a spare one in the back.."
