I know that Henry VIII had 6 wives . . . . there was Catherine of Aragon, Anne Boleyn, Anne of Cleves, Catherine Howard, Catherine Parr, but for the life of me I can’t remember the surname of the one called Jane . . . . See more
Another owldy . . . . A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine, and when the equipment arrived when his wife was out of town he decided to test it on himself first. He inserted his 'manhood' into the equipment, turned on the machine and everything else was automatic. This was great, and the equipment provided him with much more pleasure than his wife did ! When the fun was over, though, he couldn't remove the instrument from his 'member'. He read the manual, but didn't find any useful information about how to disengage himself. Panicking, he tried every button on the machine, but still without success. Finally, he decided to call the supplier's Customer Service Hot Line with his mobile phone (thank god for mobile phones!). 'Hello . . . . I recently bought a milking machine from your company. It works very well, but how do I remove it from the cow's udder ?' 'Don't worry' replied the customer service rep 'the machine will release automatically once it's collected two gallons.' Have a nice day.
I was having a round of golf and my friends commented on my improvement They asked what is it you have changed I told them I’ve started having sex with my wife that’s the only change you should try it Next week they were worse I asked them if they had tried it Yes but it didn’t work but that I had a lovely home
My ex-wife is behind with the rent and is facing eviction. She asked me to help her out, so I did But she's such an ungrateful bitch I wish I hadn't bothered hiring that removal van for her now
