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Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Smug in Boots, Jan 19, 2015.

  1. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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    Sitting at home with his wife, a man is casually tossing peanuts into the air and catching them in his mouth while watching TV.
    The Man loses concentration for a split second and a peanut goes into his ear.
    He tries to get it out, but succeeds only in forcing the thing in awfully deep.
    After a while of fruitless rooting, the couple decide to go to the hospital, but on their way out of the front door, they meet their daughter coming in with her boyfriend.
    The boyfriend takes control of the situation.
    He tells them that he's studying medicine and not to worry about a thing.
    He then sticks two fingers up the man's nose and asks him to blow.
    Lo and behold, the nut shoots from the ear and out across the room.
    As the daughter and her boyfriend go through to the kitchen to get drinks, the man and his wife sit down and relax.
    "So" says the wife, "What do you think he'll become after he finishes school . . . . a General Practitioner or a Surgeon ?"
    "Well" says the man, rubbing his nose "By the smell of his fingers I guess that he's likely to become a gynaecologist."
     
    #20081
  2. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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  3. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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  4. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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  5. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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  6. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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  7. rooch 3

    rooch 3 Well-Known Member

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    ..
     
    #20087
  8. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    i know 3 is an s
     
    #20088
    Draig likes this.
  9. rooch 3

    rooch 3 Well-Known Member

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    I think he’s doing SOS after seeing his last nights results <laugh><laugh>
     
    #20089
    Draig and Makemstine Roger like this.
  10. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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    I don't know what you mean <whistle>
     
    #20090
    rooch 3 likes this.
  11. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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  12. Montysoptician

    Montysoptician Well-Known Member

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    Always read the small print :emoticon-0102-bigsm:emoticon-0102-bigsm

    upload_2022-11-2_10-54-55.jpeg
     
    #20092
  13. Smug in Boots

    Smug in Boots Well-Known Member

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    Where's that sponge when you need one!
     
    #20093
    Montysoptician likes this.
  14. Montysoptician

    Montysoptician Well-Known Member

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    :emoticon-0102-bigsm:emoticon-0102-bigsm:emoticon-0102-bigsm
     
    #20094
  15. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #20095
  16. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

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    What's worse than ants in tour pants

    Your Uncle
     
    #20096
    Sid MCFC, Whittylad, Snaggey and 3 others like this.
  17. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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    Another owldy, I think . . . .

    How do you milk sheep ?
    Release a new iphone
     
    #20097
  18. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #20098
    Draig, Snaggey, gelders pie and 2 others like this.
  19. samwise_new

    samwise_new Well-Known Member

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  20. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

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    A blonde goes into an electrical store and asks how much is this TV

    The salesman replies we dont sell to blondes

    She dyes her hair brown and asks how much is this TV

    Sorry we dont sell to blondes

    She waits for a month and dyes her hair red

    And ask how much is this TV

    Sorry we dont sell to blondes

    My hair is red how did you know I was really a blonde

    The salesman says

    Because its not a TV

    Its a microwave
     
    #20100

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