Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

I was at the library and this women asked the Librarian do you have any books on paranoia

She said they're right behind you

 

I just got my wife a fridge for her birthday

I can't wait to see her face light up when she opens it

 

Why doesn't James Bond fart in bed

It would blow his cover

 

I just found out the company who make tape measure's and ruler's

Won't be making them any longer

 

My sister just had a baby

I knew she had it in her

 

People who need their opinions validated are so anoying

Am I right

 

When I was a kid my Dad used to put me in a tyre and roll me down the hill

Those where Goodyears

 

The worst hotel I stayed in was called the fiddle

It was a vile inn

 

A dog walks into the pub from a construction site and asks for a pint

the Landlord says hey a talking dog you should go work in the circus

Why are they hiring bricklayers

 

Last one

What was the last thing my Grandma said before she kicked the bucket

Do you want to see how far I can kick this bucket

 

Thank **** for that!

 

So sorry

I will stop from contributing to this thread because you don't like it

Erm why are you reading it

Just say NO

 

Did you hear about the two ariels that got married

The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was incredible

 

I went to the doctor yesterday

He said I was going deaf

Was really hard to hear

 

Why did Spock want to see Capt Kirks toilet ?

He wanted to see the Captains log

 

You know what

I'd kill for a Nobel peace prize

 

6;30 is the best time on a clock

Hands down

 

Everybody knows Albert Einstein was a genius

but his brother Frank was a real monster

 

What happens when you you touch dwayne johnson's butt

You hit rock bottom