Christmas Time

And the coffee ones. They’ve taken them
out of most of the chocolate selections now. Absolute bastards.

 

Geezerbirds

 

And there’s no rum in the rum n raisin, just so’s you know

 

Aw I never liked them. Rum balls. Boak.

 

How decidedly uninteresting.

 

You having the grandkids round this year or have they all emigrated?

 

I don't have any grandkids you ****ing balloon. I'm only 34.

Are you spending Christmas with your amazing scrap metal finds like every other year?

 

Christmas isn’t very interesting

 

ER isn't very interesting.

 

Hopefully we’ll have a Boxing Day dig where I’ll trudge round in the mud getting cold and wet and finding **** all. It’s a tradition.

 

Why do I think you masturbate over that very scenario?

Have you ever found anything as rare as a female?

I like stopme

 

Some birds are into it, seen a few fit ones on local Facebook group digs. Might pluck up the courage to talk to one one day.

 

Take me with you to meet them and then they're sure to talk to you. All ****ing day I'd imagine.

 

At least I have the requisite number of digits

 

You can talk to them about 'ploughing' and durty stuff like that.

 

^^^^ desperation

 

Sadly not the requisite IQ

I like ER

 

Good one you sofa ****ting four eyed speccy spastic twat.

 

You stick to thinking of stopme ****ing himself into a frenzy on his digs

That sums up your intellect perfectly.

 

Luv ya, baby. But no. The answer remains no. Always no. Soz.