My wife recently told me: "We'd have less arguments if you weren't so pedantic". I replied, "Don't you mean 'fewer'?"
only with the Dickhead fraternity unfortunately we do get a few on here but they soon push off sharpish
When your wife is asleep naked, just pop an oversized pair of false teeth in her growler and take a selfie with it. Your mates will be well impressed that you had a meet and greet with Rylan Clark!!..
i hate my job i work at a local bakers and the boss has a promo campaign on at the moment he's got me standing outside dressed as a different type of bread every day this week.......roll on friday
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Let's both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink”. They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon, however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of the shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female "let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look", she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."
