A 50ish woman is home, NAKED, happily jumping on her bed & squealing with delight. Husband watches & asks "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?" The woman continues to bounce on the bed & says, "I don't care what you think. I just had a mammogram, & the doctor says that not only am I healthy, but I have the breasts of an 18 year old." The husband replies, "What did he say about your 55-year-old arse?" "Your name never came up," she replied
The woman opposite the road from me called me a pervert earlier, I don't know why! Knowing she likes bird watching I asked her if she'd like to come over and have a look at my twelve finches
Maggie, a blonde Irish girl, marries a New Zealand sheep farmer. One morning on his way out to check on the stock, farmer John says to Maggie, "The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our ewes today. I drove a nail into the rail above her stall in the barn. You show him where the sheep is when he gets here, OK?" So then the farmer leaves for the fields. After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door. Maggie takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of ewes and when she sees the nail, she tells him, "This is the one...right here." Terribly impressed by what he seemed to think just might be another ditzy blonde, the man asks, "Tell me lady, how did you know this is the one to be bred?" "That's simple, by the nail over its stall", Maggie explains very confidently. Then the man asks, "What's the nail for?" She turns and walks away and with complete confidence says, "I guess it's to hang your trousers on."
