1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Smug in Boots, Jan 19, 2015.

  1. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    26,218
    Likes Received:
    116,021
  2. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    26,218
    Likes Received:
    116,021
    please log in to view this image
     
    #17522
  3. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    26,218
    Likes Received:
    116,021
  4. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    26,218
    Likes Received:
    116,021
    I called the coastguard and told them that my friend had fallen out of my boat into the ocean.

    They said "Can you be more Pacific ?"
     
    #17524
    Draig, Whittylad, MrRAWhite and 2 others like this.
  5. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    26,218
    Likes Received:
    116,021
    The 'meals on wheels' franchise now has a branch in Africa . . . .
    please log in to view this image
     
    #17525
    Draig, Whittylad, MrRAWhite and 4 others like this.
  6. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    26,218
    Likes Received:
    116,021
    please log in to view this image
     
    #17526
  7. Somebodys pinched my sombrero

    Somebodys pinched my sombrero Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2011
    Messages:
    9,498
    Likes Received:
    8,149
  8. OldNewtown

    OldNewtown Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2019
    Messages:
    2,035
    Likes Received:
    5,590
    Shouldn't that be wrapped around your head mate
    Just asking
     
    #17528
  9. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    21,736
    Likes Received:
    58,388
    I only realized that I live in a bad neighborhood when I paid my rent on time and the police came around the next day to ask me where i got the money from.
     
    #17529
  10. Somebodys pinched my sombrero

    Somebodys pinched my sombrero Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2011
    Messages:
    9,498
    Likes Received:
    8,149
    Not me mate, I’m not a ****ing idiot <ok>
     
    #17530
    Snaggey, Whittylad, MrRAWhite and 4 others like this.

  11. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    26,218
    Likes Received:
    116,021
  12. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    26,218
    Likes Received:
    116,021
    Another oldie . . . .
    upload_2022-7-13_19-0-56.png
     
    #17532
  13. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    26,218
    Likes Received:
    116,021
    Another one . . . .
    How did the Avon lady get pregnant ?

    Max Factor
     
    #17533
  14. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    26,218
    Likes Received:
    116,021
    One for your kids . . . .

    What kind of bees make milk ?

    Boobees
     
    #17534
    Draig, spirit of 73, Snaggey and 4 others like this.
  15. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    26,218
    Likes Received:
    116,021
  16. MrRAWhite

    MrRAWhite Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    26,980
    Likes Received:
    14,262
    So in the spirit of Wimbledon I bought myself a punnet of strawberries and looked to the internet for the best way to serve them . It said halve them, dust lightly with icing sugar and pile cream on top !

    Word to the wise, pile cream tastes ****ing disgusting .
     
    #17536
  17. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,204
    Likes Received:
    147,685
    I’m a 35-year-old male, and I’m yet to get my first period. Is that normal?
     
    #17537
  18. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,204
    Likes Received:
    147,685
    Wife has just told me she has broken the satnav and wants £150 for a new one.

    She can get lost....
     
    #17538
  19. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,204
    Likes Received:
    147,685
    An Irish daughter had not been home for over ten years: Upon her return, her father yelled at her, "Where have ye been all this time?
    Why did ye not write to us?
    Not even a line.
    Why didn't ye call?
    Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?"
    The girl, crying, replied. (Sniff, sniff) "Dad, I was too embarrassed, I became a prostitute!"
    "Ye what?
    Get out of here, ye shameless hussy!
    Sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family, so yer are."
    "OK, Daddy, as ye wish.
    I just came back to give Mammy this luxurious fur coat, a title deed to a eight bedroom mansion plus a $5 million check.
    For me little brother Seamus, this gold Rolex.
    And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside, plus a membership to the Limerick Country Club.
    She takes a breath and continues and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the Caribbean!"
    "Now what was it ye said ye had become?" Says Daddy.
    Girl, crying again says. (Sniff, sniff) "A prostitute Daddy!"
    "Oh Be Jesus!
    Ye scared me half to death girl.

    I thought ye said a PROTESTANT.
     
    #17539
  20. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,204
    Likes Received:
    147,685
    60 yrs ago 20 white men chasing a black man was called the Ku-Klux-klan.

    Today we call it Formula 1.
     
    #17540
    Wooperts_duck, Saf, Whittylad and 4 others like this.

Share This Page