Received text from a mate last night (yes i do have some) thought it was so funny i thought i'd share My girlfriend asked me if i wanted to go Dutch on last nights meal. So i strangled her and stole her pizza !!
A pile of vomit walks into a bar, sobbing uncontrollably. The bartender asks, "What's the matter?" The vomit says, "Sorry to be all sentimental, but this is the place where I was brought up."