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Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Smug in Boots, Jan 19, 2015.

  1. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  2. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    My youngest came downstairs from watching TV in his bedroom last night and said "What's love juice, Dad ? "

    After nearly choking on my brew, I thought that I'd better be honest and said "Son . . . . sit down and I will tell you. When a woman gets sexually excited, her vagina gets wet, and that's love juice."
    He just stared back at me in total bewilderment.
    I said "What on earth are you watching in your bedroom ?"
    He said "Wimbledon, Dad"
     
    #17242
  3. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  4. gelders pie

    gelders pie Well-Known Member

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    Apparently if you go into the Weight Watchers web site, you are asked to accept cookies . Is that a test ?
     
    #17244
  5. Chunksafc

    Chunksafc Guest

  6. Snaggey

    Snaggey Well-Known Member

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    "Took me a while before I even noticed the bat".
    Nadine Dorries.
     
    #17246
  7. Brainman

    Brainman Well-Known Member

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    #17247
  8. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #17248
    Robertson, LAMackem, Draig and 2 others like this.
  9. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    My girlfriend has told me to remove any of my Facebook friends with bigger tits than her or its over. I'm gonna miss Bill,Colin & Pete.
     
    #17249
  10. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #17250
    LAMackem, Draig, Gil T Azell and 4 others like this.

  11. rooch 3

    rooch 3 Well-Known Member

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    If she gave it a forearm smash, they would be going back and forward like a pair of clackers
     
    #17251
  12. gelders pie

    gelders pie Well-Known Member

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    After 49 years as the local flasher I was going to retire, but thought I might as well stick it out for one more year.
     
    #17252
  13. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    A bloke in my local has a really bad stutter and he was telling us a story last night about his nan.
    Within a couple of minutes everyone was singing "Hey Jude"
     
    #17253
    Draig, Chunksafc, Brainman and 5 others like this.
  14. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  15. Dunder Mifflin

    Dunder Mifflin Well-Known Member

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    #17255
  16. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    Its an oldun but an absolute classic.
     
    #17256
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  17. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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  18. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  19. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    After signing Richarlison for £60 million, Tottenham make the necessary changes to their stadium.

    spurs.jpg
     
    #17259
    Draig, Robertson, LAMackem and 5 others like this.
  20. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went
    to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said:
    "Father, during World War Two, a beautiful Jewish woman from our
    neighbourhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis, so I hid her in my attic."
    The priest replied "That was a wonderful thing to do, and you have no need to confess that."
    "There is more to tell, Father . . . . she started to repay me with sexual
    favours. This happened several times a week and sometimes twice on Sundays."
    The priest said "That was a long time ago and by doing what you did, you
    placed the two of you in great danger, but two people under those
    circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh.
    However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven."
    "Thank you, Father. That is a great load off my mind, but I do have one more
    question."
    "What is that?" asked the priest.
    "Should I tell her that the war is over ?"
     
    #17260

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