was just talking to my chinese neighbour, i said "where you off to dressed as jack sparrow"...she replied "i am off to the sports centre for my pilates session"
FEEL SAFE AT HOME AT LAST! Hi this works 100% !!!! I've torn out my alarm system & de-registered from the Neighborhood Watch. I've got two Pakistani flags raised in my front garden, one at each corner and the black flag of ISIS in the centre. The local police, MI5 and other intelligence services are all now watching my house 24/7. I've never felt safer. Oh by the way, the beard is coming on a treat.
One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt. The doctor askes her what had happened. She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I mistakenly picked up the iron instead of the phone. "Well that explains one ear, but what about the other." "The bastard called again"
i joined the jehovah's witness protection program, i now go knocking on door's telling people i'm someone else
