A man goes to an oral surgeon to have a tooth pulled. The dentist pulls out a freezing needle to give the man a numbing injection. 'No way . . . . no needles. I hate needles' the patient said. The dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas and the man objects. 'I can't do the gas thing. The thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating me' The dentist then asks the patient if he has any objection to taking a pill. 'No objection' says the patient. 'I'm fine with pills'. The dentist then returns and says 'here's a Viagra tablet.' The patient says 'Wow ! I didn't know that Viagra worked as a pain killer' 'It doesn't' said the dentist 'but it will give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth'
I need some help to win a little competition. Best caption poem etc.. The picture below shows Rod, a Leeds supporter, having hooked his drive off th e first tee 20 yards left. A couple of days ago another one of the group ( 40 odd of us) had a hole on one, liberal amounts of whiskey were thus available before tee off. Any mention of Wordsworthian verse will be severely chastised.
My wife is wearing one of those skirts where you can just see the edge of her arse poking out, I'd probably find it really sexy if the skirt wasn't f*cking knee length.
My local television station is asking people to send in funny photographs taken when you were pissed. So I've sent in my wedding album.
Margaret recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the patio table.. Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him.... "You know that dishwasher you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money!" She paused for a minute tracing her fingers in the ashes then said, "Remember that car you promised me? Well, I also bought it with the insurance money!" Again, she paused for a few minutes and while tracing her fingers in the ashes she said, "Remember that diamond ring you promised me? Bought it too, with the insurance money!" Finally, still tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "Remember that blow job I promised you?" "Well. Here it comes."
