Given the weather we had in March, I took advantage and have achieved my personal best for miles walked in a calendar month. Previous best was last November (120). This morning’s walk took me up to 150 miles. All the block blue circles represent 10000+ steps.
Were you wearing boots that were made for walking the line on the walk of life or did you always walk that way?
A guy in a Ferrari is waiting at the traffic lights when an old man pulls along side on his beaten up old moped. The old man leans over and says Nice car. How fast does it go? The driver replied 220 mph. The lights turn green and the Ferrari accelerates away 0 to 60mph in seconds. The driver looked in his mirror and there is the old man on his moped right behind him. So the driver puts his foot down and is now doing 100 mph. The driver looked in his mirror and sure enough the old man on his moped is still right behind him. The driver puts his foot down and is now driving at 220 mph. The driver looked in his mirror and can't believe it the old man on his moped is still right behind him. The driver stops but unfortunately the old man on the moped crashes into the back of the Ferrari. The driver gets out and asks Are you OK? Would you like me to do anything for you? The old man replied Yes could you please unhook my braces from your wing mirror.
Another one I liked was Do you know why old men wear their trousers high up around their waist? You will soon
I've decided to sell all my dogging gear on ebay. I haven't had any offers yet but I've got 7 people watching.
The Royal Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement, a bonus of £1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points on his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be. The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of £72,000. The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with £96,000. The third one was a grizzly, old, long-in-the-tooth Sea King pilot who, when asked where he would like to be measured, replied, 'From the tip of my willy to my testicles.' It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two officers had received. But the old boy insisted, and they decided to go along with him, providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer. The medical officer arrived and instructed him to 'drop 'em,' which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of his willy and began to work back. 'Dear Lord!' he suddenly exclaimed, 'Where are your testicles?' The old boy calmly replied, 'The Falklands'.
Manchester Airport - absolute chaos as people try to get through security. https://www.manchestereveningnews.c...ag-kSSj6P4bxSA9-uaVGdWdhoHMSyM0KnSNEpWH-k0Ncw
Women's Arse Size Study There is a new study just released by the British Psychiatric Association about women and how they feel about their arses. The results are pretty shocking: 1. Only 5% of women surveyed feel their arse is too big. 2. 10% of women surveyed feel their arse is too small. 3. The remaining 85% say they don't care; they love him; he's a good man and they would have married him anyway.
The wonderful force of nature that was June Brown has sadly passed away at 95. She was a mate of mine, and there's countless tales I could regale about getting very drunk together, but suffice to say, one of the true legends of British television has left us, and she was as lovely in real life as she was a brilliant and underrated actress. RIP June
I was never a fan of Eastenders, but she was such an important part of it’s success. Sorry for your loss.
What an amazing, larger-than-life personality she was. I watched Eastenders in the early days and Dot was by far the best character on the show. I mean she even lent her name to a character on Line of Duty. Sorry for the loss of your friend Laces. RIP June
