Airports

And they don't have smoking areas

 

Abu Dhabi airport is certainly an unusual design when it comes to airports.

However, once you get over the initial mystique of a building which resembles a colossal sparking fountain of ejaculating spunk spreading out over all inside, you quickly come to the realisation that there's fck all to do in there for the next 8 hours until your next flight. Which tbf does rather let it down a tad.

 

I bumped into Kate Winslet at Abu Dhabi International Airport in 2008.

She was extremely flirtatious I can tell you.

Oh my oh my. The things I could tell you about my Kate!!

 

Are you ever going to stop using my patter about birds in airports?

 

I started it off you ****ing ****tah.

Your tales revolve around ****ing off blokes in Airports.

****tah.

 

**** off, I started it off by telling you all about me fingering Britney Spears in Dallas airport, you deluded old fool.

 

Derp.

 

This is my kind of airport. Its so liberal here you can buy weed and cocaine off staff members

 

Changi airport in Singapore is a good one, or it was the last time I was in it.

 

What celebrity bloke did you **** off there buddy?

 

Jimmy Savile

 

Did you fix it for him?

 

**** off, you pervert.

 

Now that IS a coincidence as I was in that very airport 10 years earlier, when Titanic was out and so were Kate's baps. And in the airport they decided to play Celine Dion's soundtrack... on repeat ad infinitum throughout our complete transit stay. Oh how we laughed...and prayed for one of the arabs to blow himself up.

 

I couldn't keep my hands off Kate's magnificent bazoomas. And she loved it.

 

Airports are ****.

Absolutely despise them. Bristol airport being the worst place ever

Queue to stand in a queue to stand in another ****in queue.

wrtp

 

Belfasts does

 

Belfast used to be one big smoking area. Up the 'RA!

 

I don't think I will bother going to the airport today, will just stay indoors, it is pishing down here and will be for the next few days.